His, Always | J.hs (BOOK 2)

Ch. 43

Minutes had passed by. They seemed like centuries. Time ticked and ticked and hoseok found himself getting impatient.

But just as Hoseok's hand fell over his gun, Hanseo raised his head a bit and parted his chapped, busted lips to speak.

"You weren't supposed to happen." Hanseo said all of the sudden.

Hoseok furrowed his brows. He had learned that saying anything would just make the man not want to go further.

"You....you weren't supposed to happen. And it wasn't because me and Eun had no desire to have children, it was simply because we weren't in the right mental space to bring a human into this world together. But despite that, somehow someway you happened." Hanseo chuckled.

Hoseok clenched his jaw, slowly removing his hand from his gun to listen attentively.

-bold italics means they are speaking in Korean-

"It was...1998. The start of the year. February. You were born. Around that time, there was a lot of shit going on. I had been having an affair while going with your mother. Your sister was conceived out of that, and of course that just caused for more problems. I guess with you coming into the picture it made Eun hate me more. Hate me more for being disgusting enough to have a baby with another woman and then a few years later have a baby with her."

"At first it wasn't all that bad. Granted, we still weren't the perfect match. Hell, we could never Be. I was a fucking junky for liquor, an abusive prick who bruised your mother both physically and mentally fat beyond repair. And she was once a gem who broke down because of me. To be honest, the problems within our family sprouted from me..."

Hanseo chuckled painfully as he told Hoseok what he already knew.

"We loved you. We got you toys, we never complained to wake up at all hours of the night to feed you and change you. We loved you naturally, how any parent would love their child. Despite all odds and disagreements between the both of us. You were a light."

"And of course, things changed. I was involved in some deep shit. Illegal gang activity. I pushed drugs and owed money to some big shots across the city. This went on even before the birth of you. But after you came things seemed to get worse. Since people saw you as one of my weaknesses, the older you got I strayed away from caring about you because I figured that if you weren't a weakness nothing would hold me back."

"And it's dumb, I know. But I wasn't a man then. I wasn't someone who would risk anything to save my family. I was a pussy who was more so concerned about my well being instead of yours and your mother's. I would forever regret that because it led you down the wrong path. It ruined us..."

"I started drinking more. I gambled all of our money away and blamed everything on your mother. We had to leave behind a lot of shit and our home slowly turned into just a place to lay our heads. It had lost its...love. It had lost its color and vibrancy. It became a hell more than anything. Hence why I was barely around, skipping town with multiple women and getting my ass beat in alleyways for not paying the big shots their money back."

Hoseok chuckled but nothing was funny.

"Couple years later I guess you remember how that went. I know you remember. The fights, the screaming-"