dear soobin || yeonbin

19

tw//mentions of death

yeonjun hums softly, leaving his room with soobin's letter in hand. he was just about to leave the cosy comforts of his house when he overheard a rather heated argument from both of his parents.

"dad never wanted this to happen to him!"

"well do you think you still can fuck around and throw your temper as you please? don't forget that i'm your husband as well, and you know yeonjun isn't a kid to understand that his grandfather is going to die."

yeonjun froze.

silence sank in the living room, the two adults not knowing that yeonjun was just right behind the wall, hearing the both of them yell at each other.

he heard his mother sniffling, which puts him off guard. his mother never cries, especially not in front of people. he feels his heart aching, and his breathing became unsteady.

"when do you want to tell him about it then?"

his mother's small voice breaks the silence, and his father let out an audible sigh.

"we have to tell him sooner or later. we don't even know how long he'll live anyway. unless you prefer if we tell yeonjun the day that he passes on, and watch him have a mental breakdown? i didn't come all the way here to fill out documents about hospice and night care for your father and leave my son in the dark like that." (hospice is care for the terminally ill, and night care is pretty self explanatory.)

"but he's happy now. i don't want to ruin his happiness."

"and break him even harder when time comes? don't forget that you are holding a deep secret away from him too."

"what dark secret?"

yeonjun stepped out from where he was eavesdropping. his nose tingled, and he found it hard to speak properly. he stared at both of his parents, who were staring right back at him, a look of sheer horror filling their faces.

"how long were you here for?"

his father asks, attempting to let out a small smile which was dropped immediately after seeing yeonjun's crestfallen face. he gulps, knowing that his son probably heard majority of the conversation.

"first you hid the truth about grandfather, and what fuck are you hiding from me now?"

yeonjun nearly yells, feeling his throat constrict with every word that left his mouth.

"yeonjun dear-"

"don't fucking dear me."

yeonjun says, feeling the need to run away from this house. his parents always taught him that honesty was essential in every relationship, so why are they the ones not telling him anything?

"how long does grandfather have?"

yeonjun asks, mentally preparing for the worse case scenario. his mother doesn't say anything, her face having visible tear tracks and her eyes a shade of red. yeonjun almost pitied her, only if he wasn't pissed off.

"TELL ME."

his raised his voice, feeling hot tears sting the back of his eyes, something that didn't occur in 8 months. he crushed the yellow envelope in his right hand in pure anger and despair, he wanted nothing more than to be in the warm arms of soobin again.

"we don't know. his cancer is just getting worse, but we think give or take a few months."

his father answers, knowing that his wife would sugarcoat the truth, and ultimately making the whole situation even more heated. yeonjun heaves a sigh, and he unclenched his fist. he nods bitterly, and he ran back to his room, throwing the letter into the dustbin and starts rewriting a new one.

his hands shook while he picked up the pen, and he ends up throwing then pen and paper onto the floor out of frustration. he slowly sank onto the floor, he wanted to scream, but his throat felt constricted. he lets out a shaky breath, closing his eyes and felt the tears in his eyes again.

and in the first time in months, yeonjun sobbed.

~

a/n: i didn't know how to portray my actual emotions into this chapter, since something similar like this is happening in my life right now, just not as exaggerated.

dealing with death sucks, and i'm not sure how to comfort people who are gg through it now. but i guess i relate on a certain level.

by the time i publish this chapter i'm not sure if my grandfather will still be around, but hopefully he'll have a painless death.

the next chapter is going to be slightly rough so 🧎

-@kwgyurina