dear soobin || yeonbin

12

as yeonjun turned away, he held onto the letter tighter in his hand. he didn't know why he would give beomgyu the cold shoulder just like that, but he felt the need to.

he made his way back home, ignoring his mother's questions on why he was back so early and flopped on his bed face flat. when his face made contact with the soft bedding, it felt like a comforting hug. it wasn't half as good as soobin's, but who wad yeonjun to complain.

he let out a soft groan, feeling his energy draining out from his body. he was so tired and he had no idea why. he never felt this tired in ages, and he didn't do anything today. he felt like a unmotivated human being who is living off by the bare minimum.

it never hit him how much he actually missed soobin, he thought he could cope for a few months without him, but right now it really felt like a smack in the damn face.

choi soobin, his choi soobin, disappeared.

yeonjun was still lying on his bed, feeling as defeated as before. his brain kept on replaying the last time he  saw soobin, which was the day before he had a donor that was a match.

~
flashback:

yeonjun knocked on soobin's house door, praying that the younger will open the door. luckily enough for him, it was indeed soobin who opened the door and welcomed him with open arms and a wide smile.

the older slowly embraced the younger back, however unlike the usual smile he had on his face, it was replaced with a forlorn one. soobin pulls apart, and drags the older into his room, shutting the door quietly behind him.

soobin's room was yeonjun's second home. he would spend nights over here frequently and he even left his own sleeping bag here whenever he felt like sleeping over. it wasn't as if he needed it anyway, he and soobin end up sharing the same bed.

yeonjun sat down on the floor, and the younger sits opposite him and hugs his knees. his lips were curved upwards into a small smile, and his dimples were plastered on his face.

"what's up junnie hyungie?"

the bunny lookalike said, sensing that the older was not his cheerful self. he shuffles closer and grabs the older's hand, which would normally send a blush on yeonjun's face, but instead the older pulled away, looking at the floor.

soobin pouts, not knowing what was going on. he tries grabbing the older's hands again, but this time he was pushed away harder.

"okok i'll stop. tell me what's wrong."

yeonjun continued to stare at the floor, playing with his nails and he mumbled a soft "i'm ok" before picking at the skin around his fingernails.

"no you aren't. stop picking at your nails."

"I SAID I'M FINE."

yeonjun yells, finally looking into the younger's eyes. his own eyes stinging with tears, and he tried his best to blink them away. he never cried in front of soobin, not wanting the younger to see him at any vulnerable state, so it came as a surprise for soobin to see the elder fight back tears.

"i thought i told you that you don't have to be strong around me. you've seen me cry tons of times, and i want to comfort you for once."

soobin explains, feeling his heart aching for the older. he pulls yeonjun closer to him and wrapped his hands around yeonjun's slim waist, resting his head on his best friend's shoulder, the familiar scent filling his nose in the most pleasant way possible.

yeonjun took a while to acknowledge that the younger was embracing him, and he hugged back, chewing at his bottom lip. he wanted time to stop right there and then. he felt safe in soobin's arms, and it's as if all of his worries disappeared into thin air.

soobin is and will forever be his comfort friend.

soobin pulls away after a while, laughing slightly as he reaches out to touch yeonjun's face.

"what are you doing?"

"wiping your tears."

yeonjun lets out a soft laugh, and pulls the younger closer towards him. he sniffles and wipes off the remaining of his tears, and he heaves a heavy sigh.

"i'm ill soobin."

soobin's cheerful face morphed into worry, and he immediately starts bombarding yeonjun with questions.

"cough? fever? sore throat? hay fever? AIDs? who did you have sex with? are you ok?"

yeonjun didn't say anything, but instead grabs soobin's hand and places it directly over his heart. he feels his nose become tingly again, and he mentally slaps himself to prevent the wave of tears from falling down his downcast eyes. soobin's lips quivered slightly, feeling his hands become clammy.

"some heart disease, i need a transplant as soon as possible."

"and what if you don't have one?"

soobin whispers, so softly that yeonjun almost couldn't hear it.

"i have two weeks left."

the morbid silence fell between the two, and it took every fibre of both of their bodies to will themselves not to burst into tears. soobin never felt so many emotions rushing through his body in three seconds. shock, confusion, anger, guilt and sadness all came cruising through him within seconds, and it made his stomach sick with worry.

out of everyone, it had to be my yeonjunnie

and with that, soobin's world seemed to crumble, and the only thing he could do is let out a pathetic sob and pour out his distressed tears on his best friend who is going to leave him in under a month.

words couldn't express how bad soobin felt. he's been at the receiving end of the friendship majority of the time, and now he hasn't been much help in yeonjun's life at all. yeonjun didn't deserve a friend like him at all.

yeonjun however, held the distressed boy in his arms, his own tears pouring down his face. he's been crying nonstop for the past few days, and he felt horrible. if only he didn't have this stupid disease, then maybe everything would have been better now. he clung onto his best friend, not wanting to pull away, fearing that this will be the last time the both of them will be together.

and maybe it was after all.

~

a/n: 1059 words
anyways it's painfully obvious what happened to soobin already, but yeonjun still doesn't know. poor him