ɢᴜɪʟᴛʏ ᴘʟᴇᴀꜱᴜʀᴇ ⎮ ᴅ.ᴍ.

⌈CHAPTER 56 ⎮⎮ DARK ARTS⌋

It killed him. He knew he was pushing her away but he thought she would come back, that she was meant to be his.

Draco thought a lot about it since that's all there was to do. He remembers when he first saw and met Esme. It was her eyes, they were blue and beautiful. He never realized how observant he was over her, it was like anything she did was wonderful to look at. However, he never saw himself having anything romantic with her. Not because his best friend liked her, sure it was a reason but he was already struggling with his own issues.

He wondered why his father forbidden him to talk to her and how it would've went if he didn't listen and continued their third year together.

Just because he wasn't her friend anymore didn't mean he stopped being observant. In fact, that's how he became. It was Juliet and her mother's fault he was this way, it's messed him up.

He didn't fully put the blame on his father since he knew he was mean towards Esme, he just hated the idea at the time, Esme was someone he couldn't have. But now no one else could.

Draco became sure Esme was his person. In fact, that's the only person he could see himself with for the rest of his life, he wondered if she felt that same way. It was impossible for someone to think that way of him. He knew he had problems that would get in way of being with someone but deep down inside he did want someone, just one person he could be with till his last breath.

Esme wasn't a complete mess, she was emotionally drained from her surroundings. Somehow, she still had it in her to keep herself okay. Draco crept in her head from time to time and she allowed it. She would let herself drown in the thoughts and feelings of missing him.

Draco wasn't a horrible person, especially towards Esme. Times were harder and darker, they brought the worst out in him. Those were the moments Esme thought of, how Draco would've been before Juliet. If her mom never groomed him, if his father would've known or just flat out been more of a father to his own son.

She couldn't change that though. That was the past. There was no hope of fantasizing of life with Draco especially at times like this.

Esme Ambrose (POV)

I thought everything would be harder, academically. Turns out, I'm struggling with everything else but that. Snape hasn't made things easy on anyone, of course other Slytherins would disagree. It's brought so much guilt down my throat, I keep quiet during most of the lectures now especially during DADA.

Everyone I know is in that class, if my friends are suffering then I am too which is pretty much everyday. It's the one class I hate being in yet I know it provides knowledge against death. I need this class but performing the spells was something I can't do.

Today we're supposed to learn one of the unforgivable curses. The Cruciatus curse.

I wasn't prepared, in fact no amount of preparation would help. I didn't want to do it, it was that simple. Yet, I couldn't object that's what Snape being headmaster was. None of the students had any free will. I couldn't lie, I knew exactly why or when this curse would come in handy to know. But I know I never could. I forbid this spell to leave my wand.

My friends on the other hand, I couldn't really tell if they felt the same. I could feel their fear even when it wasn't shown but they still acted out as if every spell were learning could ruin someone's life.

We were all waiting. The class was split in half, two sides... how ironic. Even more ironic was Draco was on our side by Blaise, I was between Lucy and Anzac, who was next to Blaise. Adaline was behind Anzac and I wish I could be too but I was holding her hand in attempt to calm her down.