Secretive - Bucky Barnes

27 || Shell

[Nova]
Steve and I find ourselves in one of Fury's smaller jets once again. It is far more uncomfortable than Tony's - the seats are not even pillowed, hard as a rock underneath my bottom and in my back, face straight to the opposite side of the plane. Seeming rather as something used for military purposes, its black and silver colouring is not really helping lightening up the mood, and with the absence of windows, I feel my body craving for some serotonin.

Luckily, Peter was not as surprised about my next mission. He simply nodded when I told him I had to go, pressing some training plans for the next week into his small hands. He grinned from one ear to the other when I asked him to take a look upon Coco for another time, knowing James would be gone, too.

I wonder if it would be right leaving Coco to James any further. Yes, she clearly is afraid of me – and I cannot even say this was unnecessary; all animals are avoiding me following their instincts, their nature given inferiority to me, and I do not know whether Coco would be all too pleased having me as her owner in the future. As much as I love her, as much as my heart aches losing the last family member left, the only one surely by my side and with no intention to act behind my back, I need to do what is best for her. A life in fear is not.

The blonde guy resting diagonal to me shifts, but I do not think it needed to look at Steve right now. He seems relaxed otherwise, probably only trying not to get his muscles forming into the bank he sits on, shield laying on his right, star upwards.

A silver star. Just like the one I gave back to James recently.

Like an arrow shooting right into the middle of my heart, a dull pain erupts from it, waving through my body mercilessly.

Shaking my head, the thoughts of a past relationship out of it before they have a chance to form in the first place, my eyes hover to his trademark, mouth talking before my brain is processing its own plan. »May I?« Nodding towards the Vibranium shield, brown and gold locks with blue.

A little smile plays around the muscular guy's lips, before grabbing it and handing it over, moving into my direct opposite. »Sure« he answers, voice a little raspy from unuse. We did not talk all too much, somehow everyone caught up in their own thoughts again like we have been on the first mission Tony sent us to.

Far lighter than I imagined, the cool metal smoothly slides through my fingers when I turn the round object in them, glance fixing on every ever so small detail. The red and blue seems like never having seen a fight before; not a single scratch, not a single bulge from a violent conflict or an explosion. Like it was just made newly, and not used decades ago in one of the Great Wars, frozen for long time and used again in multiple situations. And it is huge, it is very huge. If I tried, I could not touch my hands in a position of embracing in its back, and the edge, the end of the horizon, is sharp as a blade. I would cut myself with a try like that.

Reminding me the shield just gets to cover Steve's shoulders. That guy has one hell of a muscled structure.

I swallow down the bitter taste telling me I should not think such things. James is not here, and especially, not in any correlation with me anymore. I can and will think whatever I want to.

A motion catches my attention, and I see Steve switching over to sit right by my side. Thighs almost touching, he gently lifts the shield from my comparably tiny hands. They almost look like a child's compared to his, which are holding the shield horizontal atop by legs. »Let me help you.« he offers, steady grip on his advice of protection, shoving it a little closer and gaining a smile of appreciation from me, even if it is a tiny one.

Following his instructions, my arm slides into the brown leather loops, possibly fitting twice in a circle this large in diameter. Fingers folding around the small metal pipe, Steve lets go a second after, the shield falling for a centimetre, leather straps daring to cut into my skin, but I do not mind. I cannot feel any pain.