Secretive - Bucky Barnes

7 || One-Hundred and Twenty || 🔪

[James]
»Stop looking like there was something bugging you.« Natasha's voice is harsh, as if she is not allowed to physically hit me, but finds her way in doing it verbally.

»Well, maybe there is something bugging me. Like being interrupted on a date.« Staring on the street lights rushing over, I am well aware she is driving fast.

»It's not like we pulled you out of situations with girls before.«

But not a girl like her. Only the thought of her lightens my mood, the way her smile shines brighter than a star. When she told me of the man reminding her on Mister Darcy, on our second date, she probably was not aware that, by then, she was the only star on my night sky for months. I still cannot believe I actually made it, and I still wonder how I deserved her.

I do not bother to answer Nat, just continue to stare on the streets grimly. The farther I get from Nova, the darker my mood. It is something I recognized a long time ago, and it still lasts.

»Do you even consider this as thanks to Tony for what he is doing for you?« Natasha sounds reproachful, but gets nothing more than an annoyed side-look from me. She is in no position to tell me what I should or should not do. She is not my mum.
Sadly, this does not stop her. »Don't look at me like that. And no, he didn't have to tell me to recognize.« Then, where does she know from? It is not like I have been that obvious. Not even Steve guesses what is currently going on in my private life, and it is better that way. »I'm very good at observation, you know? How much time did you need to convince him to buy you a second apartment with no signs of the Winter Soldier? To make him buy you a watch or to create that temperature thing for your metal arm? Don't you think I can calculate two and two?«

»I didn't know you've been spying on me.«

In return, I get something that probably should sound like a snarl. »You could be a little more thankful and a little less moody, you know. Before there are more memes comparing you to the grumpy cat, though this is, admittedly, pretty accurate.«

Again, I do not care enough to respond. My thoughts move back to my flat. Instantly, there is an image of Nova lying in my bed with a book in her tiny, smooth hands, and I start wondering which world it is she lives in currently. It is so adoring, so inspiring to see how she is able to get into a story like she was a character involved. She lives in it being part of it, forgetting reality and one can see her drifting away. So often it is that I wish her to take me with her.

But the truth is a brutal monster. »Barnes, move your ass. We don't have the entire day.«

Fortunately, my body responds without me actually thinking about it. I wonder how I could make that up for Nova. How rude is it to leave her all alone, the first time in my flat? She has got to be disappointed, lonely. She has been so happy to see me, the way her eyes were full of joy and happiness, and now, that is probably gone.

Clenching my teeth, I walk into the conference room. Steve is there in his blue, white and red uniform, shield already in hand. Tony is positioned in front of numerous computers, his dark hair a mess on his tanned face, looking furious. 

I really hope this does not take much time.

Steve sends me a greeting smile, and I nod back in response, while Tony does not consider to say Hi at all. »There's a terroristic act in the Gulf of Mexico. A cruise liner was on their way to Houston when a group of mafia agents attacked, because the captain has some higher debts and didn't pay them off yet.«

We nod, Natasha behind me as well. She quickly changed into her suit, leaving me the only one unprepared for now. I guess I will have to change in the helicopter.