Our love

Happy birthday

I lay in bed. Eyes to the ceiling and burning with tire. I didn't sleep last night. My eyes shut and my body relaxed, but my mind was still on and full of thoughts.
It's my birthday. My 18th birthday, the yearly time I stand among people who only look and kiss my ass for my title.
Michelle Romano

My door bursts open as my maid Maria pops in with a burst of energy. She's smiling with her hands folded over each other, "happy birthday Bella!" She exclaims.
I'm paired with a tight birthday hug and kisses all over my face. "Thank you Maria" I smile.
She lifts me from the mattress and wipes the exhaustion off my face. "Your dress and everything else is in the washroom, you have about 2 hours to get dressed. Then we have to go" She informs. I listen carefully and nod with a faint smile. "Thanks" I whisper.

I stare at my washroom door in exhaustion. I have to wash my hair, do my makeup, and put a dress on. Who knew a day could be so hard,
I curse to myself silently before yawning and dropping out of bed.
Happy birthday..

.

As I take wobbling steps down the stairs I catch fathers sober and dripping eyes. He's standing hands together and legs part with a tired emotion.
Maria stands with a big smile and a giddy child like sense. When you look at people you make one word to describe them in second's.
My father is an abusive drunk, and Maria is a kind being.

I find a smile when Tony eyes catch mine. "You look beautiful" he mouths. I nod and turn my eyes in embarrassments.
"Hurry up we don't have all day" Father grumbles. He turns and opens the door with lack of patience.
No happy birthday my strong daughter, I'm so proud of you. No,
I get a whole plate of nothing with a side of hatred.

Tony follows behind me when I reach the door and shuts it.
The air is cool and the breeze moves my curls to the movement. My dress is dark red and deepens right between my breasts. It follows down to my thighs. Making my legs pop and find centre of attention.
It's beautiful.
Yet I feel so empty and angry inside. I can't even have a birthday with a father, even if he put on a bullshit show with hugs and normal things I'd be the happiest person. That could be my gift and I would be grateful.
All the gifts in the world couldn't come close to the pain that I deal with having such a waste of a father.
He's capable. He was capable for 7 years of my life and he's capable of it now.
His happiness was me and my mother and when she died I died with her. I still talk around and physically find peoples eyes but deep down I know my father only treats me like a ghost.

                                             .

Two big red doors. A big white elegant palace with two big red doors that I'm walking into.
My hands are held by my fathers but it feels stiff. They don't fit, it doesn't make sense.
My breathing is staggered and my mind is full of regret.
"Happy birthday" He says.
I look up at him and hold my breath that pounds roughly with guilt. "What?" I whisper. My voice can't even finish one word with disbelief.
"Happy birthday" He smiles, he smiles at me with what feels like genuine happiness,
Is it?

I send him a confused look and push the door open with shaken hands. He sighs roughly and follows after.
As soon as we enter he pushes by me and finds his old group of weird money making old friends. My eyes catch one which watches me like I'm prey. I furrow my eyebrows and curse him internally. "Sick fuck" I grumble.
As I stride away in anger a fast figure catches with me, "where you running to?" Tony's character asks. I smile gently and turn my face halfway. "To get a drink" I say.
He smiles big and follows after my fast steps, "I'll have a soda just to keep you company" He teases. I roll my eyes and straighten my tight dress around my body. "Have a drink with me",
"I'm on a shift Michelle".
My eyes flatter the bartender which smiles back with shiny white teeth. I slide my body into my seat and place my hands flat on the table, "gin and soda please. And for him a soda" I ask. The bartender nods and ways to out cups and ice.
My eyes find Tony as in seconds we connect with humour,

"Happy birthday" he whispers. I blow him a soft kiss and run my arms out for hug, "thanks for always being there for me Tony" I say.
We hug tightly and long until our of opposite drinks are set. "There you are" the waitress expresses. I pull away and find my drink to grip,
"To your 18th birthday" Tony toasts. We tap cups and take sips of our drink with eyes connected, with Tony it's always been an intimate calmness, with knowledge of interest but enough confusion to push by fear.

"So what now" He asks. My eyes find the worry in his as my drink is put to rest.
I furrow my eyebrows and widen my posture, "what do you mean?",
"What do you want from yourself Michelle" He asks. I stare at him for a couple moments with thought of response. "In the next year if I come empty hands with no husband my father will choose. Then I'm married by force and with kids I never wanted" I smile. I try keeping the expression of confidence but the reality of my words hurt farther than anything. Tony's jaw tightens roughly as his eyes drop in disappointment, "your so much more than that, capable of more" he mumbles, taking his fizzy drink in one.

As my eyes lay focused on him as his words a loud fire of shots ring through my ears. Everything feels to shake. My bitter drinks drizzles over my hands, yet my body and eyes continue focused on everything Tony does.
How his eyes stiffen and drop with fear,
How his arms hold and push me under the bar while sheltering me with his life.
his warm breath marks all over my bare neck as every once of him holds me tight,
His rapid heart. His gentle fingers.
His eyes are shut tight but his body is fully aware. Listening carefully to anything that puts me in danger. "Take my gun Michelle" he whispers.
I continue to watch him.

Of what was seconds ago green like healthy grass have now darkened and deepened. I suck in a breath and pull his gun from his waist band,
He's looking at me now. Then at the gun, and back at me.
His eyes lower once more as then turning alarmed, "shit your dress" he cusses, pushing hid fingers against the bottom of my dress as dragging it further.
I giggle loudly as my breasts just widen into sight with his kind and innocent act. When he finally notices he looks helpless.

"Tony bring Michelle here" a loud voice announces. The only sound which follows after that is the both of our heavy and hot breathes.
His smells of mint gum as mine bitter alcohol,
I nod softly and wait till he's fully backed.
He helps me up and fixes my dress once more. I slap his hand and place at smile over my lips despite the last seconds.
My eyes fall on my father who stands legs crossed as arms and with two men in black. I let myself be curious as also cautious,

As one the the big men step closer Tony steps in front of my with hands pushing me back, "what is this" He asks, glaring at my father.
The man doesn't stop moving as me and Tony walk back with each quick step,
"Michelle Romano you are under arrest for murder" He says. The man in black pushes Tony roughly as then heading straight for me.
My fingers find the gun fast as pointing it to his path stops him roughly, "and possession I guess" He adds, Hands in the air and body vulnerable.
I push my eyes from Tony, my father, and the guard.

"What is this?" I scoff. I smile in anger and confusion.
"Michelle you know what you did. And now, you have a punishment" Father says. Tony grunts loudly and steps in my fathers eyes. "Michelle didn't kill anyone" He states.
My father looks in rage, "step down. That's an order" he growls. Everything feels frozen for moments,

A warmth of air fills behind me. As I swing the back of the gun behind me a prick and long sting runs through my neck. My eyes begin drooling and filing with weight, my body becomes jello and soft.
Fuck,
"Son of a bit-" I whisper. My father looks happy, Tony looks destroyed,
And I'm in trouble.