Chapter 50: Rock bottom

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"I will now ask Michelle Romano to take the stand"

It's blurry. Everything that surrounds me is dissolving. The muffled sounds of sobs running against my ears.

I peer my heavy eyes up and lift my body. A arm resting against my waist in act to support me..

I cut my gaze above and reach my fathers eyes. Not enough energy in me to fight the struggle I feel.

I almost trip on the step before reaching the mic. Dropping my head low as my unwashed hair covers it...

My father pushes my hair behind both ears and disappears.

It's silent. I'm silent..

I swallow a thick lump in my throat and narrow my eyes. Unable to even speak.

I tilt my head and groan softly. Spotting Adrian watching me from the entrance of this room...

"Nobody here even loves him except for me. Fuck all of you" I say. My body filling with nothing. Despite the gasps of hurt.

I smile and lick my lips. "Im the only person in this room who can say more then 5 things that Emilio loved" I grip the handle. Slicing my eyes at his family who sits in painful tears..

I sniffle loudly and look at the priest. Disappointment running against his body.

I gasp for needed air. Holding my chest and feeling the beats of sweat fizzle down my head...

My breathing is staggered and my body is shaking. Tony staring at me from steps away.

"You okay?" He asks. His hands out wide in want to help but my nod in distance making him settle...

He sighs softly and falls back into his chair. My back throbbing with pain.

I gaze at Emilios limp body. Hurting me more then anything to see a machine breathing for him..

A tear runs down my cheek. Quickly brushing it away as I know I'm lucky enough to even have him.

"Michelle you need to eat" Tony rubs his eyes. Not paying attention to him what so ever...

"You haven't showered in a week!" He scolds. Still not even giving him the attention he deserves.

"You look dead" He growls. My eyes finally giving him what he wants...

"Your loosing weight like air and your body is so god damn pale" He cries... "please Michelle"

I bite my lip and trace my eyes around him. Contemplating the fact that I feel none of that.

No hunger or dehydration

No lack of hygiene or sleep..

"I'm f-"

"Michelle stop saying you fine when we both know your not" He warns. My body tensing at that.

"Watch him" I ask. Hesitantly standing...

I enter his washroom and shut the door. Leaving a crack to catch his head laying against the bed softly.

I inhale gently and remove my clothing. Watching myself in the mirror as Tony is right...

I look dead

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