Deception - WWII Resistance / Holocaust Novel

chapter 38: holes

I am so consumed by my thoughts and feelings of guilt that I do not even see the woman in front me with the trolley.

'I'm sorry,' I apologise.

'No worries,' she smiles sweetly.

I notice that she is wheeling a large bin of clothes of all fashions and sizes.

'Are you one of the volunteers?'

'What?' I asked in confusion.

'Volunteers,' she repeated herself.

She wheels the trolley of clothing through some double doors which I had seen many times in the corridor, but never paid much attention to.

In the large room are tables filled with piles of clothing with several women sorting through them. The right side of the room is lined with desks of women working with sewing machines. On the left is a smaller room with windows and in the centre, a large door leads outside.

'We sort through the donations and mend where we can.'

I gaze around at the room of women, most of whom appear quite poised and smartly dressed. I cannot help, but question why they would volunteer to sort through clothing when it seemed that such a task was above them.

I explain to the young woman, who has since told me that her name is Lina, that I am a secretary and not a volunteer.

'Not a problem, some come during their lunch breaks,' she explains as though I eagerly wanted to offer my time.

'Where do the clothes go?' I asked curiously as Lina begins to dump the pile of clothing which she was wheeling onto the table.

'The clothes are then sent to Germany to be distributed among civilians or used by the German industry.'

Due to the storage of clothing, I could not understand why good Dutch families would donate their clothes to the Germans.

Stolen, perhaps would be the better term, I think.

I cannot help, but feel that there is something so odd about the situation in front of me. I watch two women in front of me gossip and laugh as they sort through the clothing. They appear so happy, laid back and in high spirits. I pretend to be busy and fumble with a small jersey in front of me, it seems as though it could fit a teenager or a young woman in her 20s. I run my fingertips across the fabric, as though I am inspecting it for any flaws as I listen intently to their conversation which is exclusively in German,

As I catch on to bits of their conversation, it soon dawns me who these women really are – who most of these women probably are.

The wives and girlfriends of German officers who are stationed in Holland – bored with their life at home, volunteering here is the only way to get out of the house and socialise with their own.

My finger suddenly gets stuck inside a hole.

I look down and examine the garment.

One hole.

Two holes.

Then another.

Then another.

All similar in size.

'So will you be joining us?' Lina asks.

This is so strange, so very strange.

Lina asks her question again, thinking I cannot hear her.

Then the realisation dawns on me.

I am too stunned to answer her as I feel my heart drop.

'Hello?' Lina says impatiently.

'No,' I shake my head. 'Maybe another time,' I force a smile.

I leave quickly, attempting to block the images of the piles of clothing in front of me.

Holes.

One hole.

Two holes.

Then another.

Then another.

All similar in size.

Holes

Bullet holes.

***

Elek murmured small endearments as he kissed my neck, but I don't respond.

He tries again to gain my attention, but I ignore his attempts.

'What's on your mind?'

'I can't stop thinking of her.' Rachel. 'I can't stop thinking of the piles of clothes.'

Elek sighed, 'I told you Mieke—'

'I know, I know,' I cut him off. 'But she's in there because of me,' I said, my voice full of guilt. 'I cannot help it. She shouldn't be in there.'

'A lot of people shouldn't.'

'That does not make it any better.'

I roll onto my side so that my back faces Elek and stare at the wall.

'In war, you cannot blame someone for acting in their own best interest.'

'So it's fine to be a traitor and reap the benefits?' I turn my head back to glare at him.

'No that's not what I'm saying,' he looked me seriously in the eye. 'Better her than you. Remember if they catch you, they'll catch all of us.'

'I won't get caught,' I state firmly.

'I'm warning you Mieke.'

'Don't worry about me,' I turn my head back to face the wall.

'Don't do anything stupid.'

I don't say anything.

'Promise me Mieke.' He grabs my shoulder and pulls my body towards him, 'Promise me.'

'I promise,' I say only because it's the words he wants to hear.

A/N Hello! Sorry for being MIA for several months, but I am officially back and ready to finish this story! I'm excited to hear what you think will happen next. Thank you to everyone who has continued to read, vote and support my work x