Nirvana (Liu Yuxin x reader)

-173-

The next week consisted of Y/N cleaning the house from top to bottom and Xukai focused on healing his wound. He didn't speak much but somehow there was a mutual understanding between the two which really left no place for words. This came in quite handy they didn't even much very communication when guard were around them.

They were both locked in the same room at night, seeing as there was no point in keeping them separated. The night came and they walked into their room. It was cramped with a small bed in the corner and torn rug on the floor which was a huge contrast to the rest of the house. There was a little window but it was blocked up from the outside with only little peeps of light coming through the gaps from the wooden slabs.

The grey walls didn't help the room look anymore inviting either. Neither did the broken lightbulb. A small box had a few changes of clothes for them both and a door lead to a tiny bathroom. 'I'll go and change first.' Y/N said. XuKai nodded and she quickly changed and washed up before he went in to do the same.

When he came back he saw Y/N sat on the floor. He raised an eyebrow at her. 'I'm not letting you sleep on the floor again. It isn't good for your back or your side.' She folded her arms as a sign to tell him that she wasn't going to move. 'I'm fine. All I do is lie around anyway. You don't let me help you. You need the rest. And I'm fine now so starting tomorrow I'm gonna help you and stop her from taking advantage of you.' She stayed quiet for a moment.

'I know you aren't well. You look fatigued and when you disappear I always hear you coughing.' He came and sat opposite her. 'Why were you really at the hospital?' Y/N held her breath. She looked away. The memories she had tried her best to stash away in the back of her head came forward. It hadn't even been that long but it felt like years ago. This week had felt like decades.

Without her by Y/N's side, days were long and nights were longer. She ignored the longing for her but in that moment she couldn't. Without even realising, tears spilled from her eyes and she was caught in the midst of the rush of memories of her friends and her. Pushing them to a side had made this moment worse. The guilt was eating her up from inside. A few tears turned into more and she began to shake.

XuKai quickly pulled her in for a hug in hopes of calming her down. 'Shhh, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked. You're going to be okay.' He held her close as she continued to cry uncontrollably into his chest. 'K-Kai I l-left her. I l-left them all. I s-shouldn't have l-left. Why didn't I-I stay? She was crying... So m-much. I'm s-so sorry Yuxin. I'm sorry.'

She stayed close to his embrace as he patted her back allowing her to get rid of her pent up emotions. Once she had calmed down a bit, she wiped her face dry and took a few deep breaths. 'I have a tumor in my lung.' Kai's lips parted in shock when he heard what she said. 'It isn't a big tumor but it's still there. It's why I left everyone and everything. My Dad, my friends... Yuxin.' She sighed.

Kai bit his lip and fiddled with his hands. 'What's up? Do you wanna say something?' Y/N asked when she saw him. 'I wanna ask you something but I don't want to make you cry again.' He said quietly. She smiled slightly. 'I'll try not to.'

'Who's Yuxin?'