Nirvana (Liu Yuxin x reader)

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Y/N and Fan both looked like they were caught doing something naughty as Keran and Yuxin looked at them from either side. 'Vending machine huh?' Keran said making Fan pouted at her. 'How did you know?' She huffed. 'Vending machine isn't the way you went.' Keran folded her arms over her chest. 'Stalker.' Fan whispered making Y/N quietly giggle from beside her. 'Okay Romeo and Juliet. It's getting late and I think Y/N wants some sleep.' Keran said while Yuxin nodded. 

Fan sighed before turning to Y/N. 'Parting is such sweet sorrow, that I shall say good night till it be morrow.' Y/N smiled and played along. 'Till next time fair Juliet.' Fan smiled and wiped away her non-existent tears. 'Parting is such sweet sorrow my ass.' Keran rolled her eyes making the younger three laugh. Y/N walked over and gave her a hug. 'Don't get jealous.' She laughed. 'Having three people argue over me is flattering.' She flicked her hair over her shoulder and laughed but the thoughts in the back of her mind came rushing to the front causing her smile to falter.

Yuxin quickly noticed her expression change and pulled her towards her. Fan saw and immediately hugged the younger from behind before Keran could stop her. The eldest knew that Fan was feeling down since earlier. They all were but Fan seemed the most upset. She joined in the group hug and sighed. 'Thanks guys, but I'm fine.' Y/N said from under them. 'Don't say that other wise KeKe's gonna drag me away.' Keran smiled. 'Well yeah I will but it's because it's getting late. We've got practice tomorrow and you're in the same group so you'll see each other then as well.' Fan pulled away and sighed. 'You're right. I am getting tired.' She said leaning onto Keran who wrapped her arms around the youngers waist.

'Goodnight guys.' Fan said before pretending to fall asleep on Keran's shoulder. Yuxin and Y/N laughed slightly before wishing them a good night as well and heading back into their dorm. Yuxin pulled Y/N towards her before she could walk away and span her around so she was facing her. 'Hm?' She asked Yuxin who leaned down and kissed her. Y/N was slightly surprised but kissed back nonetheless. She felt herself somehow healing. It was like Yuxin was reassuring her that everything was going to be okay.

They pulled away and she smiled up at her. 'Thank you.' Yuxin rested their foreheads together. 'It's okay baby.' They got into bed and shuffled close to each other. Y/N lay her head on Yuxin's shoulder and enjoyed her warmth but something felt off. 'What's up?' Yuxin said when Y/N started shuffling around. 'I don't know how to describe it but something's... off or missing or too much of something.' Yuxin smiled and pulled her so there were inches between their faces. 'I might have an idea.' Y/N looked at her with a confused expression. 'Your IQ must be going through the roof if you figured out what it is with that lame excuse of an explanation.' Yuxin smiled.

'This.' Y/N looked down to see Yuxin pointing at her. She looked up and pouted. 'No silly. These.' She said holding their clothes. Y/N looked up with a shy smile. 'It could be that.' She whispered making Yuxin laugh, lean in and peck her. In what felt like mere seconds, they both had thrown their clothes on the floor and were back in each others embrace. 'Better?' Yuxin asked as she covered Y/N with the covers so she wouldn't be cold. 'Much better.' Y/N whispered pulling Yuxin towards her so she could lock their lips together for a brief moment.

'I love you so much.' Yuxin said running her hair through Y/N's soft hair. Just as she was about to reply, a thought popped up in her head. She bit her lip and looked away from Yuxin. 'What did you just think of?' She asked placing her hand behind Y/N's thigh, pulling her closer. Y/N stayed quiet for a moment trying to think of a way to say what she was thinking. Finally she sighed and closed her eyes. 'I don't know how to say it without it coming out wrong.' 

'Don't worry, I'm sure I'll figure out what you're trying to say.' Yuxin said. 'I don't wanna use these words though because that's not what I'm trying to say.' She said hiding her face behind her hands. 'It's okay. I'll try my best to understand what you want to say not what you have to say instead.' Yuxin said pulling her hands away from her face and holding them. She shakily exhaled before speaking. 'Sometimes... I wish... I hadn't let us get... as close and intimate as we have been... because if we don't work... I don't want you to regret anything. It's not that I didn't want it to happen it's just... I don't want you to regret wasting your time and firsts with me.' 

Yuxin immediately pulled Y/N close to her. 'I wouldn't want to spend my time with anyone else.' She whispered. 'I can't put into words how much you mean to me. You're my first love and I want you to be my last. I know you think that you're not good enough for me but baby you are. You're more than enough. You're everything I want and more. My firsts weren't wasted. I wouldn't've done anything if I didn't want to. During those moments I had no regrets. The only regret I have is not telling you earlier. That way I could've done so much more with you.' Y/N burrowed deeper down into Yuxin's embrace. Yuxin kissed her bare neck, tightly wrapped her arms about Y/N's small waist and a comfortable silence helped them fall asleep in each others arms after a small 'I love you too.' left Y/N's lips.

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Love you

🖤🖤🖤