If only

Chapter 87

Blaise

TW : ABORTION

" Abortion? " I say, repeating what I just heard.

" Appointments tomorrow " she says, I then scoff. " How long have you been thinking about this? " I say, chucking darkly. " About a month " she whispers, her eyes begin to water. I stare at Davina with bitterness, I run my fingers through my hair. My eyes begin to get glossy.

The room was now silent, only noise you could hear was Davina and I's heartbeat.

" Blaise.. " She whispers, the tear that was begging to be released for a few moments finally falls from her eye to her cheek. As she says that, she takes a few steps closer, I take a few steps back. " Don't, stay over there " I say sternly. " It's my body " she says, another year leaves her eye. I scoff, she has some nerve. " Yes it may be your body, but that's OUR child in there " I say, she then scoffs in disbelief.

She wipes her tears, trying to seem strong. " You know how much I hate children, and didn't want children! " She yells, her voice breaking. " You don't know tough this decision is for me, I'll be the one to live with this, not you! " She spats. I can't believe her right now. " Then, don't get rid of him or her " I say, wiping my tears as well.

" I'm sorry.. " She says, I then scoff for what felt like the millionth time. " No you're not " I say, not believing her. " I don't want this baby born into our lifestyle! " She cry's, these are most likely just some sorry ass excuse's. " What if they blame themselves, for what they suffer for in the future? What if they go through the same pain I went through for years, not knowing wether my parents loved me or not! " She shares. My heart ached because of those words, I had to keep my guard up though.

I'd never let my child, go through that pain not knowing if they were worth of their parents love.

Shaking my head no, I pinch the bridge of my nose. " They won't ever feel like that, with us as parents " I say softly, she then shakes her head side to side. " I'm sorry " she says, tears were now streaming down her face. Her eyes were bloodshot red, tip of her nose was along with her rosy cheeks. " I don't care for your sorry anymore Davina. If you were truly sorry, you would abort OUR baby " I say, clenching my jaw.

" Stop that shit Blaise! " She hollers, catching me by surprise. " You don't get to decide for me, my body " she says, I scoff. " Davina- " I say " God damn it Blaise! It my fucking decision. I don't want the baby, I'm not ready for a child " she says. " That's final " she says, I clench my fist. I step closer to her, inches away from each other. " Your keeping the baby " I say, she then shakes her head no.

" No " she spats. " I won't allow you, to kill our only fucking baby " I said. " Enough! " She yelled " you're not listening to me Blaise " she says, I look at her with confusion. " I can't have the baby. I'll loose you " She says, I shake my head no repeatedly.

Lose me? She'll never loose me.

I'll never abandon my child, nor would I ever abandon Davina. I love them both to much. I'd never leave them.

" Sweetheart, I'm never leaving you. Or this child " I say, putting my hands on her waist. She removes them. " You aren't listening " she says, shaking her head side to side. " No you won't " she cried pushing me away from her. My heart then aches, seeing her like this. But this time I'd do something about it. I cup her face, pulling her closer towards me.

" I'm going to be here for you amore every step of the way. I want you to know that. I need you to know that " I say, slowly. She then chuckles. Did I say something funny? Where is the joke? " You don't get it Blaise, " she says letting another tear leaving her eye. " Everything will change " she says.

" I don't wanna loose you " she utters. I stood in front of her, clueless. Why does she keep repeating such a thing?

She won't lose me if she keeps the child, she'll loose me if she doesn't. " You'll loose me if you don't keep our baby " I say, pain waves her eyes. My heart ache for those once beautiful, life full eyes who held so much love for me in. Now they were.. in pain. Her face was puffy, from crying. More tears begun to caress her face.

Something didn't feel right. " What are you telling me, Davina? " I questioned. She doesn't say anything, just stares into my eyes she was looking for something. I began to worry " Davina. "

" I'm sorry Blaise, but it's final " she speaks, those words break my heart. She then sobs. " Davina.. " I call out, more tears leaving my eyes. " Do this, and I'll never forgive you " I say, those words HURT me. She was looking at me, still not saying a single word. I waited for her to say another word, but she didn't. I look down for a quick second then look back up.

Knowing she wasn't budging with her decision. Anger then took over my emotions, and common sense. " Consider yourself dead to me " I speak. I then leave my office, rushing my way outside. I can't be here.

A / N : hey guys. This is a short chapter, but I had to get it done before the weekend. I have plans, maybe I'll update Sunday. I usually update when I get ideas, or get inspired. Also, I'm sorry for the sensitive topics. I'm also sorry for leaving you at such a cliffhanger. A trigger warning, is in the beginning of the chapter. I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Well you probably didn't, but I did. I like catching you guys by surprise it's to funny. Anyways, have a wonderful weekend love. <3

PS - correct my misspellings and grammar mistakes. <3

- Xoxo Savannah <3