For Jakob

5: her name

It had been a busy few days, but I mainly worked from home, finishing up custom orders so that they could be sent to the tailor and planning a photoshoot for the next campaign.

I sighed as I grabbed my towel and walked into the closet, the irrational part of my brain literally screaming about how he would be coming over today.

I hadn't seen him for the past few days; usually Jerryl and Zion had come to brief me at work or do the security system, and they were joined by some people on their team. They had introduced me to most of them, and the only one that I remembered well was a man named Sade. He was tall and burly with locs and grey eyes. He had been stationed outside the store so I spoke to him a handful of times; he was extremely nice.

I didn't ask Jerryl or Zion where Jakob was; I just assumed he had important things to get to.

But stupidly, I missed him.

I had only been around him a handful of times, but I was the type of person to imagine my whole life with the cashier at the grocery store who smiled at me for two seconds.

For as long as I could remember, I found myself getting lost in a good story. A book was the best friend of a child with a tumultuous social life.

And I was no different.

I used those stories to feed my escapist tendencies, because confronting real life was hard. I could feel and dream without consequences, within the confines of a story.

But real life had too many consequences. It was too noisy. Too precarious.

Last night as I lay awake, too anxious to sleep, I realized why I had suddenly formed this attachment to the quiet man.

Jakob gave me the feeling of safety. Jakob felt like stability. Jakob was the epitome of protection.

I was vulnerable at this moment, I knew that; the situation I was in was terrifying. So I couldn't really blame myself for grasping onto the fairytale of comfort that he provided.

But it had to stop.

I needed to focus on more important things and step away from my fantasies. That was all they were after all.

Fantasy.

I sighed dejectedly, grabbing a matching blue co-ord set and a yellow cotton bra and panty set.

I felt a pang in my heart when my eyes fell onto the ivory knitting needles that were stashed away on the shelf in my closet.

Not today, Cal, no bad thoughts today.

Shutting my closet door lightly, I walked into the bathroom, quickly showering, washing my hair and body. After moisturizing, I put on leave-in conditioner, knowing my curly hair needed the extra help. I changed into my outfit and did my skincare. Letting the products rest on my face, I tidied up my place a bit, plugging in the air freshener and putting out some brownies on a covered plate on the kitchen counter.

I truly had the worst sweet tooth and I loved anything chocolate.

Humming a song that had been stuck in my head, I made a smoothie for myself and walked back into my room so that I could do my makeup and fix my hair. Sipping my smoothie, I put on some concealer, mascara and a cream blush. I then fixed my hair as much as I could before putting on a few gold rings and some dainty bracelets.

I clasped my grandmother's necklace around my neck and sprayed on some perfume, walking back to the living room to read a book before Erin and Frank arrived.

I only read two chapters of the book before I got a message from the reception to buzz them in.

The knock on my door sounded a few minutes later and I happily swung it open, immediately enveloped into a hug by Erin.