Lovesick

Chapter 8: Fake

            Tears can’t help but come to my eyes and it’s not just because of my appearance, I don’t know the other reason(s) why but they just did. They had to come out. I went to the bathroom and washed my face then made my way to the kitchen. My mom was making herself a cup of coffee. “Want breakfast, honey?” She said, putting cream in her #1 mom mug I got her for mother’s day when I was 10.

“Pop tart.” She went to the cupboard and got out a cookies n’ cream pop tart and popped it in the toaster. “So how’s school going?” She said turning towards me. “What the hell happened to you?”

“Nothing.” I said, leaning against the counter.

“You’re going to school like that?”

“Yeah.”

“You look like you just woke up.”

“I did.”

“Did you do your hair?”

“I’m lazy, mom.”

“I think there’s another reason.”

“There isn’t!” I said harshly. My mom took the pop tart out of the toaster. It was burnt to a crisp. “It doesn’t matter, I’m not hungry.” I grabbed my book bag and my keys to my car and left. I didn’t say goodbye, I didn’t even look at her again, I just left. I know that’s unfair to her, I know that sometimes she can’t look at me without thinking about my dad’s death. I can see it in her eyes. But I can’t tell her what happened, she’d get law enforcement involved.

            Right when I arrived at school eyes were focused on me. I went to my locker, grabbed my books for first period, and then went straight to my class although I am about 15 minutes early. I plopped my head right on my desk and tried to ignore everything around me. When people started filling the class, they thought I couldn’t hear them talking about me but I heard. “Why did she come to school? Did he go to jail? I bet she faked it all for attention!” Why the hell would I fake this misery? Attention from these delinquents is the last thing I’d want.

            “Nicole? Are you okay?” I looked up and saw Tyler looking down at me. “I heard what happened at Haiden’s party.” Why the hell is he talking to me? I want nothing to do with this kid! I just placed my head back on my desk. “Look, Nicole, I know you probably want nothing to do with me. I am so sorry for everything. The things that I said, I didn’t mean. Pushing you away was one of the worst mistakes I could make. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me. Just know I am here for you, always. If you ever want to talk, make up…maybe try again. I’m here.”

            I didn’t reply. I didn’t want to talk to this f**ker ever again. I hope he doesn’t think I still have feelings for him because I am far from that. Does he really think this small bum a** apology was going to fix things? Hell no!

During lunch I had a juice box, that’s it. I couldn’t eat. I wasn't hungry. Apparently Meghan started this rumor about the party saying I paid him to say he did that sh*t to me and the I paid Haiden to "rescue" me and that it was all apart of some plan to get attention. What sense does that even make?! And the worst thing is that people actually believe it. People believe anything they hear. And what really hurts me is that Haiden didn't deny the rumors going around. He just hung back while everyone spit insults at me calling me a whore, slut, cunt and I know it has to be because Meghan has her name written all over him. I refuse to believe he doesn't defend me by his own decision. He’s better than that, right? 

I sat at the table with Hazelle in comfortable silence and I listened to people's conversation about me, my name floating from one table to the next. Then at one point the "popular" table which included Meghan, Haiden, Haiden's friends, & Meghan's friends, started looking at me and giggled, then they pushed one of Haiden's friends, Jose out of the table into my direction. I quickly turned around and he tapped on my shoulder and chuckled. "I hear you give good bj's." Then he looked back at his table and laughed some more. "I can pay you for tonight but if you're booked all week I totally understand, I can wait until next week." Then he totally lost it and fell on his knees laughing along with his table and a few others. 

I tried my best to not cry and said, "I'm not a hooker dumba**," with a crack in my voice indicating the water works were coming. 

"Then I'm guessing you'll do it for free?" Then he stared laughing again and went back to his table high-fiving everyone except for Haiden, he just looked at me with sympathy and I got up and left the cafeteria with Hazelle quickly following behind. 

I went directly into the girls bathroom and bursts into tears, Hazelle came in and locked the doors after making sure no one else was in the bathroom. 

She came and hugged me and I just sobbed on her shoulder, hugging her back and sniffling. 

"They're all jerks." She said, rubbing my back.

"Tell me something I don't know." I said pulling away, sounding nasal.          

"You know it's not true. Meghan knows it's not true. Probably half of the student body knows it’s not true, their just bored with their lives and need someone to pick on and they need someone to make them feel better about themselves."

"You're probably right. You know what kills me the most?" 

"I have a pretty good idea, what is it?"

"Haiden. He knows it's not true but he sits back watching it all, obeying to Meghan's every last wish, I swear he's like her little dog. He's so phony!" 

"That was my idea... He probably has a reason for it, doesn't mean it's right." 

We sat there, I went back to sobbing into her shoulder and then after about 5 minutes the bell rang. 

I sat up, blew my nose and washed my face preparing to show my face to those people I call classmates again. 

"Good luck!" Hazelle said kissing me on the cheek. Her locker was at the opposite end mine was at and we didn't have the next class together! Sadly I had it with Haiden and Tyler and the teacher has assigned seats so I can't even try to avoid sitting next to them! Tyler sits behind me and Haiden sits to my right. 

I left the bathroom and quickly walked to my locker, grabbing my neatly stacked pile of books needed for the classes for the rest of the day. I managed to avoid Haiden because he was making out with Meghan and was so lost in her mouth he forgot the fact he was in school. Of course I couldn't manage to go to my next class without anyone bothering me, I still got the names and the jokes thrown at me about what has been said during lunch, but I let those go through one ear and out the other. 

I was one of the first people to arrive to class and sat in my seat, shortly after I arrived Tyler came in and I sighed and rested my head on my desk putting my head in my arms. 

I heard the class filling up and heard someone rather loudly and obnoxiously sit down next to me, which was of course Haiden. 

"Nicole, please sit up." Mr. Rogelio said as he entered the class. I felt all the eyes on me, then a few snickers in the background but I ignored them. I just kept my head straight.

I felt Tyler staring at the back of my head and it felt uncomfortable, then I kept glancing over finding Haiden look at me the same time I looked at him. 

A note plopped on my desk.