Despair In The Apartment Lounge

63| a choice of you

2) he hasn't made up his mind and him asking to meet up today is what concludes it all -this hours-long conversation in this stupid diner is the thing that determines their doom or fortune. The only convincing left to do is on his behalf because Talaska knows where she stands. She is waiting for him. Corresponding with what she had stated at the night of the banquet, she had stayed true to her words and had waited for him in those five months -still waiting for him as they sit across one another now.

Both possibilities lean more on the unwanted slant and it's due to Tal not wanting to build her hopes up; if her expectations are low to begin with then there exists no prospect of it crashing down on her.

She takes notice of how fleeting his eyes are when they land on hers, which is usually something she derives amusement from -making someone nervous or intimidated from your mere presence on an entertainment set becomes quite relishing even if you aren't despotic in nature, like Tal. But with Alex she doesn't enjoy the silent-stolen glances because it doesn't provide her the sense of power like it usually does with other people.

She's the small one in this situation, and they both realize this. She has no power in the decision at all.

A strata of emotions comprise Alex's thinking as her previous question begs an answer. It isn't like he doesn't know the answer to it, because he does. It's the procedure of having to approach and respond that pains him so much, and not in the way that he knows her inherent cynical mind is thinking. Alex is simply finding himself in a paradoxical conundrum of not being able to convey his thoughts and emotions in a cogent and methodical fashion, in a way that he's so adroit in terms of his songwriting.

As expected, as proven so many times in the past; Talaska is putting up a front. One that he is indisputably imitating this time -as if they are weakly constructed concrete walls built parallel of each other, both simultaneously waiting for the other one to collapse.

Her hands, he notices, are out of sight, and as he leans back in his seat to catch his breath, he finds them hidden under the table and doing that awful habit she hasn't been able to stop doing since he's first known her; pulling harshly at the dry skin of her fingers that it makes a small 'tut tut' sound.

Before a thought can potentially impede his proclivity, Alex stretches out his own hands and grabs her fumbling ones, which immediately earns him a shocked reaction as a barely audible gasp escapes her. However, she doesn't pull away from the familiar touch and rather lets herself find comfort in it. How so very long they haven't felt the warmth of the others skin; months ago when they were permitted access to it almost everyday at any given time, touching had been taken for granted.

"Al?"

She calls softly to him, feeling sure that she would likely be content forever if his thumbs would just continue on with its caresses.

"To the apartment... I'd like to go to the apartment."

He replies after a while and squeezes her hand with an odd sense of finality, both finding it hard to just let go. But like that horrible day at this diner some years ago, Alex is the one to eventually do so.

"Why'd you wanna go to the apartment again?"

Alexa asked with a scarf unraveling around her neck, throwing it on the couch afterwards.

Behind her from the doorway, Alex watched as the thick bindings of her coat dropped down to expose her slim figure, starting to take off his own jacket.

"I dunno. I just- I didn't have anymore ideas of where to go, I guess."

Her bare feet rushed against the floorboards as she scurried to the kitchen to boil a kettle, Alex lazily dragging himself onto the couch as he waited for her to come back.