The Acceptance

Chapter 31

"A further sign of health is that we don't become undone by fearand trembling, but we take it as a message that it's time to stop struggling and look directly at what's threatening us"- Pema Chodron

The death of captain bilaal Kabir spread like a wild fire, it was on televisions and radios. The number of people that attended bilaal's janazah was uncountable, thousands of people came trooping to pray for his soul. So much of his goodness was said, he never had any problem or misunderstanding with anyone, his generosity, calmness, and good personality. Indeed a good person has been lost, alot of soldiers came, when the news reached them in Lagos, they quickly flew to kaduna all shocked... investigation was still in process about the cause of the crash, some even said that the plane had some faulty. Only God knows what actually happened.
At around 5pm that Friday, bilaal's body was lowered down into the 6feet deep ground. Faisal, khaleel,Humaid, ya Ali and Adil cried so much, for they've lost a true brother and a friend. They all bent down near his grave and prayed for him. And slowly, the once very large crowd dispersed one by one..... bilaal was gone forever and ever.

The house was filling up with people, ammi decided that no canopies or chairs or mats would be set outside for any traditional siting. Whoever wants to say the condolences should go inside. That's the right way to do things because nowadays people have turned a mourning place to be a market place or gossip place. So that's how it was done. So many people were going in and out of the house, all with sad faces.

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Opening her eyes slowly, she saw herself in a room that looks like a hospital yeah it's even a hospital..but why am I here? In the hospital? For what? I can't remember when I fell sick?  Then it suddenly clicked to her, bilaal....his body taken away from home...to the cemetery.... Everything came back fresh in her memory, that's when the waterworks started,she shouted loudly attracting the attention of ammi and Abbu that were outside talking to the doctor. She was struggling to remove the IV line that was connected to her vein when her parents rushed in. Ammi succeeded in calming her down while Abbu patted her back..."it's okay ameerah

"No....noo Abbu, they took bilaal away... please I want to see him for one more last time... please Abbu take me to him....she cried

"Ameerah bilaal is gone for good inshallah, the best thing he need from you now is prayer, accept the fact that he is no more...

"But Abbu we planned everything together, why would he leave suddenly... please I need to see him....I want to ask him why he left me .. please Abbu....mama tell Abbu to take me to bilaal... please.... ameerah continued while mama sobbed,it's hard to see her daughter this way, she is heartbroken...but it's their fate...that's how they will accept it...Abbu spoke again

"Ameerah dear, listen to me... everything in this world happens for a particular reason, remember you are a Muslim..and every strong muslim is expected to believe in his or her fate, be it a good one or a bad one. Bilaal has left us now, Allah loves him and that's why he took him, the best thing you would do to bilaal now is to keep praying that Allah have mercy on his soul....
Ameerah kept crying as Abbu spoke, so now she is expected let everything go? But how is it even possible? She can never forget bilaal all her life.... It will be so hard..... bilaal, the ever loving guy she'd known....

"Abbu please let's go back..... She cried

It was already dark so after some talks with the doctor, he discharged her and they went back to bilaal's home where they met alot of people.... condolences were said from every angle, ameerah couldn't take it anymore, so she blocked her eyes with a hands to avoid listening to those heart piercing words "Allah yaji kan bilaal, Allah ya gafarta mishi, Allah sarki bilaal"  so many people looked at her with pity, they all understood what she was going through at the moment, losing a fiance wasn't easy.....they were just about to get married...just two months! It's really heartbreaking.

Ameerah was taken inside, ammi sighted them and quickly went to her..she took Ameerah's hand and dragged her to her room. On entering, she closed the door and made her sit on the bed.

"Have you prayed ameerah?
She shook her head, so ammi lead her to the bathroom to perform ablution. She laid two prayer mats for them and they prayed together. After the prayer, ammi held Ameerah's hands and spoke
" Ameerah Habibty, loosing someone like bilaal is very hard... especially to the people very close to him. Bilaal is now in a better place insha Allah and he needs nothing but our prayers, I am his mother and I've accepted the fact that he is no more, it hurts me deep down ameerah,it really does but can we stop destiny from happening? Definitely no. Bilaal is the sweetest person ever, he has done so much sacrifices for his family, he has vowed to take care of us ever since his dad's demise. And so far he had done preety much for us, he is everyone's good example. Remember we are all from Allah and to him we shall return, it's just a matter of time, everyone must taste death. So bilaal is gone now, we can never forget him...we will live to remember and Cherish all the memories we spent with him........
As ammi spoke, tears fell freely from Ameerah's eyes, the words were just too much...they were tearing her heart into small pieces. Just a few hours ago, everyone was happy, life was normal... they were all counting down the days to the wedding, they were planning so many things. But suddenly, death took him away...death is so cruel, it took the one man she'd fallen in love with, the one man she'd been planning a bright future with, the one man who always made her smile bright, who encourages her, who taught her alot of things. Innalillahi wa Inna ilaihi rajiun was the only thing she kept muttering, her vision became blurry because the tears were just too much. How will she cope? She continued crying into ammi's arms. Bilaal's handsome face was the only thing she kept seeing when she close her eyes, his bright smile....Ya Allah have mercy on him. She wished death will also take her at the moment because she couldn't describe the pain she was in.....The door opened, karima and zara came in each with a teary face. After saying their condolences to ammi, ammi silently stood up and went to the living room. Karima and Zara rushed to their heartbroken friend and hugged her crying......
"Bilaal is dead....I just can never believe this.. subhanallah it's so hard for me, I wish I'll just leave this world too..... Ameerah said in between sobs

" Shhh, it's okay ameerah, stop saying this...it's haram to wish for death, Captain is in a better place insha Allah....
Karima tried pacifying her friend, she too was lost of words. Zara couldn't even say anything, the three of them held each other and cried.

It was 9pm and it was dark already, mama and ameerah left bilaal's house. Ameerah wanted to stay but mama didn't allow her, she wanted to be with her daughter through this hard time. So they drove back home
Ameerah immediately ran to her room and locked it up, she fell on her bed and another set of fresh tears came flooding, she grabbed her favorite teddy bear that bilaal gave her on their first date. She hugged it tightly her whole body shaking. Her eyes weren't hers anymore because she changed completely, the color and the size. The veins on her forehead propped out and her head was aching so badly. She sat on the floor clutching tightly to the teddy, she closed her eyes as she remembered each and every second she spent with bilaal, she felt her heart burning and her whole body tearing apart. The tears were too much but all she wanted was to see her bilaal, someone should tap her shoulder and tell her it was a bad dream. She wanted her phone to ring with bilaal's name appearing, she wanted him to tell her he is perfectly fine and nothing has happened to him, she wanted him to call her his princess, to tease her , to tell her stories and to tell her how much he loves her.....
Ameerah didn't sleep that night, she kept crying silently throughout...

Heartbreak

Agony

Fear

Tears

Pain

Were the only things she felt at that moment......

Hy everyone 😓
I'm still grieving so I don't have much to say....
Our poor ameerah needs help😭
She's going through a lot 💔😭
Rest in peace captain 💔
And ammi is indeed a very strong woman, she lost her dear son but she is still trying to mask the pain.....how she spoke to Ameerah...ya Allah 😭😭❤️

Let's meet in the next chapter 🚶😓
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       ✨Haleemah✨