Russian Roulette: Flashbacks [male x male]

Ch. 24: You should do that more often

Then

Jace's mouth opened in a silent cry. His eyes pleaded, and then he reacted. He flew up from his laid-back position, and his arms flailed until they found purchase on the bed. He drew back toward the headboard, his knee capping Phoenix dead in the jaw, and the fingers Phoenix had wanted to remove gently got ripped out with a sloppy sound.

"I'm sorry!" Jace desperately cried out. "I didn't mean to. I swear. I'm sorry, Master."

The panic in Jace as he curled up by the headboard with his knees drawn up under his chin, while he protected his head with his arms, broke Phoenix's heart. His use of 'Master' was disturbing, to say the least, but his behavior held more trauma than Phoenix had imagined.

"Please don't hurt me. It wasn't on purpose. I tried. I did!"

"Jace, calm down." Phoenix put on his most patient and inviting tone and sat perfectly still, though everything in him screamed at him to reach for Jace to comfort him, or at least rub his own throbbing jaw.

"I'll comply. I'll be good." Trembling so hard his limbs would have shaken the bed if not for the soft mattress, Jace unfolded himself from his protective ball and slid off the side of the bed onto his knees on the floor beside it. He assumed a perfect 'punishment' position and held it despite the vicious trembles that went through him.

That was when the slow motion stopped for Phoenix, and the world returned to where he could breathe. He was not sure if what he had just seen had indeed happened. It was too surreal to have happened, but the empty bed and whimpers from Jace, calling to his own rapidly beating heart, felt very real.

Scared out of his mind, Phoenix moved from the spot he had sat frozen into and over to the side of the bed, where he peeked down at Jace to take in fully what happened before his eyes.

"Jace?"

"Please, I'll take anything. You can use the cane. Just forgive me." A sob followed, but Jace stayed in position. "Or the electro rod. I won't scream, I promise."

"Jace!" The word roared in the room with all the power Phoenix could muster in the situation.

Nice and soft had no effect on Jace in his condition. Maybe hard authority would make him listen, even if it tore at Phoenix to resort to those tactics. He had very few options; be harsh, go fetch Chess, or as his ultimate and the one he dreaded having to use... Call Gareth.

Somehow, Jace acknowledged the dominance and quieted down to tiny sobs as he waited.

"I'm going to sit beside you now, Jace," Phoenix said with the same authority and got off the bed. He sat down and folded his legs under himself. He sat as close as he dared to not invade Jace's sphere but still be close enough to catch him if he fell over. "Tell me why you need to be punished, Boy!"

"I didn't mean to..."

"I did not ask for excuses. Tell me why." Phoenix felt the need to rub his chest because it hurt too much inside to speak like that to a frightened sub. To Jace, of all people. The man he only wished to see smile.

"I came without permission, Master," Jace stammered.

"Oh, Baby boy. I wanted you to do that. Everything I did was for you to get to that mind-blowing orgasm. Why do you think I'd want you to hold that back? To keep that amazing reaction from me?" Phoenix suppressed the need to sigh. "Unless I specifically tell you not to cum. You can do it at any time when I've brought you close enough to the edge."

"But without permission, I am not allowed. You always told me when to do it the other times."

"Because I was in a position to do so those times. But I sort of had my mouth occupied before, and I most definitely wanted you to cum, which you did. Beautifully at that." In an effort that took more than he had expected, Phoenix stopped his hand from reaching for Jace. It ripped at him to not be able to comfort him through touch. Jace gained strength through Phoenix, and it was hard when words were not enough, and the physical connection was not there. "For the record. It was an honor to watch. I hope you'll understand that when you've had some time."