Heart of a rogue

Chapter 13 - valuable lessons

I was taking a walk around camp in the early morning to enjoy the fresh air. I used to do this a lot to disengage my mind and after that heavy session yesterday I needed to clear my mind.

I never even thought about being angry at myself, but it made a lot clear. I always blamed others but never myself, sure I still think my parents deserve my anger. Even Declan does for rejecting me. But even so, why do I let it get to me that much?

I'm angry that I never stood up to my mother and let her hit me whenever she thought I was behaving shamefully. I'm angry that I never stood up for myself or my brother. And I'm angry that I left him alone, alone to deal with those horrible people by himself when he was so young.

"Lucy?"

My thoughts were pulled by a soft voice. I looked up into Mia's eyes.

I'm angry that I became so angry at a friend who tried to help me. I was ready to kill her. For something so simple.

"Oh... Hey."

We stood in front of each other but it was awkward, to say the least. "How are you doing?" she asked.

I shrugged, everything sucked but alas. Mentally, I was struggling a bit.

"Fine, I guess..."

Mia also noticed the awkward surroundings and was about to walk past me and say goodbye.

Which reminded me, she also liked taking walks in the morning to freshen up. We even did it together sometimes and talked about anything for hours. "W-wait!"

She halted and looked at me questionably and waited for me to say anything. "Uh, well... I wanted to apologize for attacking you. Back then."

She looked surprised but her confusion turned into a smile, "sure, thank you."

I also felt surprised that she accepted it so easily. But at the same time, it wasn't a surprise. She was just too friendly. But giving her an apology still felt odd to me so I quickly continued my walk, but I walked away with a smile when I heard her giggle behind me.

After my walk, I got myself some breakfast and was on my way to the showers when I saw Declan in the distance.

He was walking with the blond girl I had seen with Alani before. One thing ticking me off was her arm linked with his. He was guiding her around camp.

"Are you spying on muscle McGee?" Someone whispered next to me.

I started giggling, "I'm not spying Belle, my eyes just happened to see them." I replied.

"Who's the girl?" Belle asked me.

"I don't know," I shrugged, "I don't know if I should know her name, but she's been showing up more often."

"Girl, you need to get him in bed, or he is going to run off with a different woman," Belle warned.

I bit my lip, "I caused that then, I told him I'm never going to be his Luna." I said.

Belle smacked the back of my head which earned her a warning growl.  Bitch, don't growl at me! Are you stupid to let a man like that go? He's not going to wait for months, he's supposed to continue the bloodline of his pack." She informed me and I knew that already.

Alpha's are eager to continue the bloodline, unconsciously they seek out potential mates when their own isn't near or dead. And most female wolves are eager to fill that spot, they're status addicted.

I am status detested.

"She's right you know."

Another joined our spying class, Twinkle. "The fuck you whispering too, twinkle?"