She Has No Idea - Book 1

Chapter 20~The Truth-Part 2

I stormed into my hotel room and threw one of the blankets at Lillian.  Hard.

“Ow!  What the heck crawled out of you shampoo this morning, Dilly?”

“Tell me the truth.  Now,” I snapped at her.  I never talk to Lillian in this tone of voice, unless it’s just a joke.  This time, it’s for real.

She froze and let my words sink in.  She knew exactly what I was talking about.  It’s written all over her face.

“Tell me, Lillian.  Why did you lie to me?”

Her eyes began to morph into a shade of pinkish-red.  I’ve never seen Lillian cry before.  She’s not exactly the emotional type.  I guess this is one of those exceptions where she just has to let it out.

“I was Jealous.  That’s why.  I couldn’t take the sight of you getting everything I wanted, and you didn’t even have to work for it.  It’s my fault.  I’m so sorry…” she trailed off.

I sighed, “Lillian, please just explain.”

“I guess I used reverse psychology on you, and it worked for a while, but fate found its way around it.  I’m so stupid!  How could I even consider that I could find a way to end an obvious fate?”

“W—what?”

She flailed her hand in my direction as if it didn’t really matter, “Oh, it was obvious that you two were inseparable from the start.”

“What?”

I couldn’t believe what she was saying.  Inseparable from the start.  How does that even make any sense?

“Oh, my gosh, Dilly!  If I showed you video of you two talking, or should I say arguing, with each other, you’ll understand what I mean.  You two sound like a married couple trying to figure out who gets the last bit of ice cream from the freezer!”

A married couple trying to figure out who gets the last bit of ice cream from the freezer.  “This still doesn’t make any sense—”

“You see, that’s the thing,” she cut me off, “I noticed that, even though you two were obviously inseparable, you somehow convinced yourself that you hated him.  It’s a psychological phenomenon…well, to me at least.  I’ve never seen anything like that happen to someone before.”

“But I do hate him!  More than anything!  He’s so selfish!”

“You’re lying, Dilly.  And he is not selfish!  He’s not perfect, that’s for sure.  You’re judging him way too hard.”

“No I’m not,” I replied to both of her comments, particularly the first one.

“Yes you are.”

“No I’m not!” I stomped my foot.

“Ok, let me rephrase that.  You are lying to yourself, Dilly.”

I rubbed circles into my temple, “Lillian, you are as confusing as a college Biology test.”

“Ugh!  Alright Dilly, let me see if this works.  Say it.”

“Say what?”

“Say you love him.”

“But I hate him.”

“No you don’t.  Just say it.”

“But Lillian, I don’t love him.”

“You’re almost there.  Now just say those exact words again, but take out the ‘don’t’.”

I rolled my eyes, “Fine, but just know that it’s a complete lie.  I—love him.”

Then, it hit me like a brick wall.  I never said that out loud.  I love him.  I love him.  I love James David Maslow.  My problem was, I was only thinking about it, but my jumbled mind kept losing it under the endless piles of thoughts and memories.  I never said it out loud, and that’s the whole reason why I kept confusing myself between love and hate.  Lillian is right; I am judging him way too harshly.  Sure, he lied to me, but I was worse to him this whole time.  Like Kendall said, I ignored him.  I treated him like a pair of dirty shoes while he beat himself up even more to try to impress me.  To try to get to know me.

I’ve never loved a guy before, but I know that whatever is between James and I surely sounds like the definition of love.

“I really love him, Lillian,” I told her without stuttering or laughing or interrupting, with true heart.

She smiled, satisfied, “Good, now go tell that to his face.”

And so, without hesitation, I got up from my bouncy, uncomfortable hotel bed and left the hospitality of my room.  I knocked four times.  It wasn’t James who answered; it was Kendall.  He knew what I was about to do though.  He saw it in my eyes, so he slipped past me and continued towards the elevator.  The room was left with only one person in it now.  He was taking clothes and condiments out of his suit case and setting them on top of the plaid bed spread when I saw him.  I noticed the purple marks from his near death-hypothermia were still visible under his eyes. 

This is it.  This is my chance to prove myself for once.  He’ll either forgive me…or he won’t.  This is my chance. 

“James,” I mumbled, not directly to him. 

He looked up as if he could hear my voice from a million miles away. 

Memories are in the past.  This is the future.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

One. More. Chapter. 

Sorry, this chapter had a horrible ending.  Next chapter is the last one :’(  It’s a good one though :D 

I promise I’ll edit this!

Xoxo NB