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TW//death

Y/N POV

As we pulled into the funeral home my anxiety levels raised to its peak. This is going to be the hardest day of my life, I'm so not ready for this.

Ricky got out of the car and helped me out. I tightly held his hand as we walked inside. I walked into the room to the right and saw the casket. I slowly walk up to it and tears till my eyes.

"Mom..I'm sorry. I should of been there for you.." I had no idea why I was saying this, I knew she couldn't hear me. But it just felt like it had to be said.  "Thank you..for everything. I wish I could of done as much for you as you did for me.." I put my hand on hers and took a deep sigh. "Goodbye mom..I love you."

After 20 minutes the car that would carry her casket to the cemetery pulled up. Watching them put my mother's casket inside hurt like a bitch.

-at the cemetery-

There weren't many people there, just me, Ricky, my aunt Marie, and a few of my moms friends. The man who drove my mothers casket here handed everyone a rose to place ontop of the casket before leaving.

I let the others put their rose ontop and say their goodbyes before me. I wanted to be there for a while and didn't want to hold the others up.

Ricky and I put our roses on top and he held my hand tightly. I put my other hand on top of the roses and took a deep sigh.

"Goodbye mom..I love you, so much." I look up and Ricky and nod letting him know I was ready to go. My aunt Marie decided it was best we just go back to the house and take some time to rest. On the ride back I felt horrible. I hated this entire day and never thought I would miss her this much. But at least she's in a better place and isn't in pain anymore. Ricky held my hand tightly and I put my head on his shoulder. The tears started to roll down my face again, which Ricky wiped all of them away.

Rickys POV

We sat on the couch and shared headphones. We played our favorite band, Slipknot, which helped put us both in a better mood.

"Ricky.." Her voice was so shaky, I hated seeing her in so much pain. Especially when I had no way to help her feel much better.

"Yes babe?" I looked down at her.

"Can..can we leave tomorrow. Staying here is going to make me more hurt.." she bit her lip just as she always does when she's nervous.

"Of course, I'll get the earliest flight back to the guys, okay?" She nodded and got up to go tell her aunt that we will be leaving earlier than planned.

Within a hour I had the plane tickets bought, but it was for a really early time 7 am. I know Y/N is going to hate that.

"Babe the flight is at 7. It's the only one I could get."

"Ughh..that works I guess. Does this mean I have to sleep early." She plopped down on the bed.

"Yes, I don't want you to be all cranky and take it out on the guys." She crossed her arms and made a face.

"I do not get cranky." She paused after a bit after processing what she just did. "Okay maybe sometimes I do." We both laugh and she laid on top of me.

"Again?" I looked down at her.

"Yep. Goodnight babe I love you." She kissed my cheek and buries her face in my chest.

"Goodnight you dork." I said softly as I drifted off to sleep.

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