Kyoya x Female Reader

Ch.41 Head up

(⚠️TW elements of self harm and depression in certain chapters⚠️)
(y/n) = your name
(L/n) = last name
(N/n)= nickname
Bold and underlined = authors note
'Italicized with apostrophe is internal dialogue'
"Quotation marks is external dialogue"
I do not own ouran high school host club or any of the characters in it

Making Kyoya 'miss you' like your mom said to do was turning out to be a harder feat than promised.

You didn't even know where to begin. You had never been in a relationship before this so you had no cause to make someone jealous or regretful. And how do you even do that? By just simply living your best life and showing them you don't need them. Or actively going out of your way to make them jealous? You didn't really wanna do the second thing though. You had no real reason to hurt Kyoya. Sure you had every reason to be hurt and angry but you weren't about to enact revenge and put him through what he put you through.

So you put on your winning smile and forced yourself through the doors of Ouran. You wouldn't run.  You wouldn't avoid him in the halls, trying to take different routes purposely. Just show no interest. Like he never existed.

This concept was easy enough. However enacting it took a lot more than you thought it would. Between third and fourth period you crossed paths with him. You had spotted him from all the way down the hall. Your heart rate sped up and your palms became slick with sweat. It was all you could do to not stare at the floor and just follow the kids feet in front of you. 'Head up (y/n). Head up.' You affirmed to yourself.

It worked a little too well because Kyoya also didn't even breathe in your direction. This pained  your heart with sadness. 'How am I supposed to be the resilient one when I'm still sad?' It hurt to see that it took Kyoya less than no effort to ignore you. 'Although he's had a lot of practice under his belt.' You laugh to yourself.

'Looks like I'll just have to be the happiest and most well adjusted between the two of us!' You declare to yourself.

This attitude carried you throughout the day. It helped you keep your chin up when passing Kyoya and not bat an eye when hearing a rumor about 'the girl in the red dress'.

Although you knew that the school day is a completely different thing than club. That would take your positive attitude times 100 if you were going to successfully get through it. You could just skip. But you weren't a runner. You were gonna stand your ground. And you promised Kyoya you could stay professional till the school festival.

The music room, upon entering, didn't fill you with its usual warmth. Instead it felt void of any happiness. Like all the good memories you had made here were spoiled by your breakup with Kyoya. But you didn't want that to be the case. So you forced yourself to see it in a better light. That only sorta worked.

"Holy crap boss she's actually back." Hikaru announces to the room.
Some heads turn but only Tamaki, Haruhi and Karou come to greet you. "About time." Haruhi gives you a cheery smile.
"You were gone for three weeks! Three!" Tamaki seethes. "Didn't know you missed me so much Suho."

"I didn't! But if you're not here then who will capture all this beauty?!" He gestures to himself. "Besides what are we paying you for!"

"You aren't."

"Never the less you're slacking!" Tamaki finishes his rant and stomps back to his girls. And changed into Mr. heartthrob at the drop of a dime when getting there.

"Never ceases to amaze me." You laugh under your breath.

"Hey, I gotta go. But I'm proud you're here." Haruhi says slapping you on the shoulder encouragingly.
You plaster on a 'brave' smile even though your stomach is in knots.

"Thought you died lol." Karou laughs. And you laugh with him. He was always your favorite of the two twins. He was less of an asshole and could crack a good joke from time to time too.
"Nah. Couldn't leave you to bully Suho on your own." You smile at him.
"Of course, wouldn't miss it for the world." He then bounces back to his seat among four girls and his brother

With your camera strung around your neck you set out to go make up for three weeks worth of pictures.
The light and airy cheerfulness of the club slowly came back to you. The members who made you laugh and the girls who were on occasion kinda funny and nice. And the snacks. The food made it infinitely better. Tiny cakes and sandwiches that you could eat for forever.

You dropped by every member to get pictures making sure to even get Kyoya despite not wanting to even be in the same room as him.

He didn't look at you while you snapped pictures. Not even once.
It takes everything in you to keep your anger down. 'Simmer,simmer' you chant to yourself between deep breaths.

For the entire week this only does so much. When you see Kyoya talking to a new girl every day it boils your blood. It never had before but that was when you were sure that you were the only one for him. Now you're no one to him.
Because of your attempt to separate yourself from your jealousy you end up spending more time with the twins and Tamaki then wanted.

But because of the club you still have to see Kyoya flirt with those other girls.
You wander to Kyoyas table where he sits across from a freckly blonde haired girl. 'I hate her already' and for no reason whatsoever. But you force yourself to not look it. You snap a few pictures of them trying not to watch Kyoya intently but failing miserably.
He smiled at the girl across from him and even laughed at one of her terrible jokes. This made you incredibly angry. Like so much that you had to separate yourself from that side of the room. 'That's my smile. That smile and that laugh are meant for me. You don't even know the first thing about him! It wasn't even a funny joke!' Jealousy courses throughout your body giving you some sort of new found adrenaline. Like you'd be ready to pounce on that girl at any time.

'God what am I thinking? I broke up with him. Not the other way around.'

You take a seat across from Mori and Honey Senpai who were done with their appointments for the day.
"Bad day?" Honey asks you in his high pitched and squeaky voice.
"How'd you know?"
"It's written all over your face" Mori answers,
You barely ever hear him talk but he's very perceptive. Both of them are actually.

"I'm just tired ahaha" you lie. No point in dragging other club members into your needless drama.
"Really?" Honey asks then takes a bite into his strawberry cake.
"Are you sure it doesn't have anything to do with Kyoya?"

Your throat goes dry and you have no response for that. "Uhhhhh, well I'm not sure-" you try to formulate a response that wouldn't raise suspicion.

But there was no point in lying to either of them. Besides, what're they gonna do? All the damage has already been done.
"Yeah" you squeak out, barely audible.

"Hhmmmm that's what I thought." Honey says through mouthfuls of cake.
"Was I that obvious?" You ask feeling defeated.
"No it's not you. It's Kyoya. All week, maybe even longer." Honey says as if it's obvious.
"What about him?" You press. This sparks something in you even though you know it shouldn't.
"He looks....." honey tries to think of the right words
"Unhappy and on edge." Mori finishes his sentence for him. "Yeah!" Honey agrees excitedly.

This makes your heart flutter like an idiot. 'Unhappy because we split? He misses me. He must miss me. Maybe even enough to come around and fix everything.'

And with this new found information from Moro and Honey it was the first time this week you go home and don't cry before bed.

Word count:1397