One Night Madness

30th Madness

***

Tay.

"Tay, can we talk?"

I languidly looked at Namtan who was fiddling with her fingers. Her voice was low as she tried not to look me in the eye. After all, it was our first time talking again right after the incident with New.

"New's waiting for me, Namtan."

My cold response made her look straight at me.

"This will be quick, Tay, I promise."

I heaved a deep sigh as glanced at New who was talking to my relatives. It was a good thing he easily fit in with them, just like a puzzle piece and I couldn't be happier that my relatives seem to be fond of him.

Well, he's adorable. That's a fact.

"Fine. But don't expect me to stay longer than five minutes."

She led me to the back part of the garden, a little bit far from the visitors and a bit dim, a total opposite of the bright lights illuminating the center part of the garden.

"Tay, I, I know I did something wrong before but please can you not treat me like this."

"Namtan, you already know way back before that I don't have any feelings for you. I only see you as a friend, a sister."

"I know. But do you have to go this far just to prove that you don't like me? I mean, why him?"

"Why not?"

"Tay! He's a guy! You're not supposed to like him!"

Her response might have struck a nerve as I couldn't help but raise my voice at her despite my internal agreement with myself to remain as placid as possible.

"Then who am I supposed to like then? You? Namtan, I've been clear since high school about my identity. As a matter of fact, you are the first one to know."

"But I thought you were just confused. I thought you were just experimenting. I saw you flirt with girls back in the US, Tay. I saw it with my own two eyes. I thought you were already fine. You can still change, Tay. You can still go back to normal!"

"So you think I'm not normal? You think I'm sick?! You think I'm sick because I like New?"

"No, I, I, that's not what I mean, Tay. What I mea—"

"No. You don't have to explain. You just said it yourself. Tss. Just what a friend you are, Namtan."

I immediately turned on my heels and left her all confused on what to say next. She tried calling out my name but I didn't look back, not after what she just said. She already ruined me once and I forgive her for that but it's an entirely different thing when New is involved.

I took several deep breaths and tried to straighten the creases on my forehead before approaching New who was still happily chitchatting with my relatives and for some reason, I felt fine.

"Tay, are you okay?"

I gave New a timid smile as I held his cheek and gave it a gentle squeeze. My action earned some giggles from my relatives and that was when I remembered we were not alone.