you really got a hold on me | john lennon

CHAPTER FORTY FOUR

October 26th, 1960

With a damp, dirtied rag in hand, I look over at the rest of the restaurant I had yet to clean. It was hard to believe that I had so much left to go even if it felt like it had already been an eternity of me being here. Just seeing the rest of the tables that were yet to be cleaned made me even more exhausted than I already was. I had to be on the closing shift for a week or so now because of all the people that had quit because of all the random odd blokes coming in—leaving me alone here to fill the void that they had all left behind. And I couldn't even blame them because if I had that easy of a choice, I would've done that a long time ago.

But I was maybe the only way the boys and I were able to eat something proper besides corn flakes once in a while, and I couldn't give that up. The residency was due to be over in just a month or two and I could surely wait until then to break out of this shitty excuse for a restaurant.

Rolf was the only other one here in the restaurant with me, cleaning the inside of the kitchen himself. We both had been the last ones standing here and received the short end of the stick because of all that had happened. Our manager didn't feel the need to help us in all the time I had known him either so we had to navigate through this ourselves. But the only thing I was grateful for was that I had been paired up with Rold and not anyone else that I hadn't somewhat known.

"You okay over there, Natalie?" He leaned on the countertop behind him, crossing his arms. There was a concerned rease in his brow as he looked over at me. "You aren't looking too well. Need some water or...?"

I wipe some sweat off of my forehead with the inside of my arm and shake my head no. "Just fine, Rolf. Just tired, don't worry about me. How about you? Need some help over there in the kitchen?" Both of our faces mirrored the other's gaunt, tired expression from all the late nights we had spent here together. It was almost terrifying to see how much I had changed both physically and mentally since I had first set foot in Hamburg.

"I'm fine too. I was actually thinking of asking you to go home and let me finish the rest of what you have to clean here. You've been working all day."

"And so have you. You know what?" I glance down at my watch to check the time. It read as it being two-forty five in the morning already, and even if I was hesitating what I was going to say next—it was only right after all the good he had done for me. "I'll actually finish everything here. Go home, Rolf. You have a wife and kid waiting for you right now, don't you? Spend some time with them."

"I do, yes. But I don't want to leave you here with this big of a mess."

"I insist. I'll be fine here, okay? You can go."

My heart ached for whoever his kid was, not being able to see his or her Dad as often as they should just because of something like this. I understood their situation to an extent with my parents being the epitome of workaholics—even if it still was a little different in circumstance. Rolf was nowhere near how bad my parents were and he didn't have a choice in the matter while my parents were just willing to do whatever it took for some extra money. And if anything, it only made it worse because Rolf couldn't even do much to change that.

"Thank you, Natalie. I haven't been able to see my daughter in a few days because of our schedule here. I appreciate this more than you know." He turns off the light in the kitchen and picks up his bag from the rack nearby in a hurry.

A daughter. Now that hit even more close to home than it already did before. I was tired as hell but knowing I could reunite them both even for just a little bit made whatever effort I was going to make cleaning this all worth it. And maybe it was for all the times Rolf had taken more than half of the workload off of my shoulders when I first started here—way before I had known about this family.