you really got a hold on me | john lennon

CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT

June 1st, 1960

"There's no need to be nervous, John. You can sit still for a few moments, I can assure you that absolutely nothing bad is going to happen if you do." John's leg bounced up and down relentlessly as we waited for my name to be called out by a nurse. We had been in the waiting room for almost a whole hour now, watching as the room emptied one person at a time. I was barely holding myself together, only doing so because John's temper was already flaring up among other things. And the both of us all fired up could do no good. "The nurses are looking at ye like you're the one in need of a check-up. Settle down for a bit, I'm sure they'll be calling my name soon. Just be patient for a little longer."

I could understand where John was coming from with his nerves, as I had my own fair share of doubts as well obviously—but his had inflated to an almost concerning level. Hopefully, this doubt that he was going through would pass soon enough.

The heft of it all truly started to weigh down his mind, all these other things had started to stem there too. Something had twisted him to believe that it was his fault that all of this had happened in the first place...because he hadn't pushed as hard as he should've for me to go to Scotland. I had no idea of where this had come from, but it was obviously not the case. Over and over again I had to remind him that it was on me for being daft enough to trust my parents—but he just wouldn't buy it. It was gut-wrenching to see him beat himself over that, more so knowing that no matter how many times I insisted it wasn't his fault that he just wouldn't believe me.

John hums back in response, keeping a watchful eye at the nurse's station. He was growing more and more impatient by the minute—the lack of sleep and stress of this all catching up to him.

"Don't you think there's something wrong with their system? Can't possibly just be fate screwing with us and making us wait this long. Even the people that came after us already got checked."

"Maybe, yeah," I look down at my watch and read the time—11:27 as of now—marking just a few minutes over an hour since we had gotten here. The both of us were beyond starving, having rushed over here without any breakfast to make sure we got here on time. But it seemed that we did that all for nothing. "But I suppose there's nothing we can do but wait. If they don't call us in let's say—fifteen minutes, then I'll go up there and ask. You can sleep for a bit if you want. I know you barely got any sleep last night. Go on, I don't mind."

He hesitantly lays himself down on my lap and peers up at me. "Thanks, Nat. Better wake me up whenever they call your name, though." John flutters his eyes to a close and makes himself comfy. Almost immediately, I started to hear some gentle snores coming out of him and it was a relief. My hand made its way to his hair and fiddled with it as I waited for any call of my name from one of the staff.

It was a miracle that John had agreed to get even the slightest bit of sleep right now. Usually, he would shrug me off and even deny whatever was going on without him...but at least now it was starting to change a bit. But I suppose once you got into a dire situation like that, it really was necessary. Even for somebody as stubborn and hard-headed as John was. The fuss he would make if he found out I was calling him stubborn would just be infinite, so I was better off keeping this to myself for now—especially when he was in such an irritable mood with his lack of sleep.

A nurse emerges from the double doors, clipboard in hand. She looks up at the nearly vacated waiting room until her eyes settle on me. "Natalie Lawrence? I would guess that would be you, hm?"

"Yeah, that's me." I start to gently nudge John awake, though I felt bad in doing it in the first place, just as I celebrated even getting him to go to sleep. Less than ideal timing.

"Great. Follow me, please." She scribbles something off of whatever paperwork she had on her clipboard. "Ah, do you need a few minutes to wake up your friend there? I'm alright with waiting for a bit if you need me to. I know you've been waiting for quite a while, sorry about that."