you really got a hold on me | john lennon

CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE

August 6th, 1960

We were goin' to Hamburg.

After all these failed attempts at residencies, they had finally gotten one that seemed to be permanent. Allan Williams—their newfound manager—had come up to them not too soon after their Grosvenor Ballroom residency disaster with another opportunity, this time to go to Hamburg. The band had agreed to it of course, with the exception that they had to find a fifth person for the group—making them similar to another Liverpool group playing in Hamburg, Derry and The Seniors. And since the only part they were missing was a drummer, that's who they were looking for. They had used a couple of drummers part-time here and there, but none of them were willing to make this long-term commitment in another country. And as a sort of sacrifice of sorts, John had decided to put his bruised ego aside for a minute to come to the Casbah and get the only drummer they knew...Pete Best.

Now the five of us—John, George, Stu, Paul, and I—were standing in front of the Casbah Club. The sun was shining down on us as we were all stalling to go in, especially once we remembered the last time we had gone in here...things didn't quite go according to plan.

"Can't believe we're back here after so long. Seems like it's been forever." I tuck a loose strand of my hair behind my ears as I looked at the familiar building. John still held a grudge against both Ken and Mona—holding zero regrets about what he had said or done in terms of the residency. His enormous ego was just hurt when he realized that Mona had filled up their spot quite easily without any problems whatsoever, basically giving off the message on how replaceable they were. No one had dared try to talk about it after it had happened, and I wasn't interested in opening up any old conversations that were cast aside for a reason. "All of you better go directly to Pete, ye hear? No bevvies. No getting yourselves into any arguments that aren't needed."

"Are you talking to all of us or just to John?" George asked, eyeing both John and me as we were basically connected at the hip. His arm was coiled around my waist comfortably, keeping me close.

"Hm, mostly John. But a gentle reminder to the rest of you lot wouldn't hurt though."

John looks down at me almost shocked—as if the two of us hadn't gone through a whole sit down of how to act rationally for once before getting here. "Thought we were past those days of you selling me out in front of everyone." He knew exactly what I was talking about. It had taken maybe a good solid hour of me chastising him because everything I had said seemed to be going into one ear of his and leaving right out the other.

"And I thought we were past those days where you think that I'm going to stop doing that just because you're my boyfriend," I lay a gentle pat on his cheek as a growing smile tugs at my lips. He acted like an utter softie sometimes, even with the band around at this point in time. It was surprising because I could still remember when he refused to do any sappy shite with me, which wasn't even that long ago come to think of it. "As long as we're still doing well, then you can expect me to never give this up."

He rolls his eyes playfully at me before letting out a long sigh. "Better prepare myself for that then. Having you insulting me for the rest of me life."

"Sounds like a dream, doesn't it? Music to yer ears—"

"Alright, can you two maybe stop the flirting for a mo? We've got something more important to do than tha." Paul interrupted, sounding absolutely disgruntled. His eyes had an indistinguishable flame of jealousy in them...one that only got stronger whenever he saw John and I do as much as breathe the wrong way in front of him. The nerve he had to be upset with me for moving on after him was infuriating. After I had shut him down once, he hadn't racked up the guts to try and apologize again—instead just making all this fuss. It was almost laughable because he still was with Dot, who was well unaware of his jealousy. "Pete's the only option we've got, and we need him for this residency, don't we?"