Royalties in Our Hearts

CHAPTER 74

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Wayne's POV

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"Stawnzell Stewart is dead."

Iyon ang anunsyo.

It was never easy. It was like surviving a collapsing building. Or a drowning boat in the middle of a dark ocean. Life's been always like that. I don't know what a normal life feels like anymore.

Or do I ever really know what it feels like in the first place?

Sumalampak kaagad ako sa sofa matapos mag perform ng ilang minuto. I miss that feeling. I miss performing on stage. I miss being welcomed by people who adore me not because of my looks, but because of my talents and things I am capable of. Sa lahat lahat ng pakiramdam na iyon... hindi ko rin maiwasan na umasa na naroroon siya sa karagatan ng mga tao, nakatanaw at nanonood sa 'kin sa malayo.

I sighed heavily. Stupid. I couldn't stop it. Especially that my urge to go back home again after hearing the news of what happened to the prom night escalated everywhere in me.

Nauna ko pa talaga siya maisip kaysa sa mga kaibigan ko. Mabuti at ligtas sila pero may mga nasaktan din. God knows how much I want to go back and see her myself if she's okay even I knew that she was okay. Wala naman daw akong dapat ipag-alala pa dahil nasa ligtas naman silang lahat pero hindi ako makatulog ng maayos. It was driving me insane. It worried and bothered me so much.

My manager and mother scolded me a lot for having sleepless nights instead of preparing for my career. Ilang araw na nagpatuloy ang gano'ng pangyayari. May mga bagay talagang hindi maiwasang isipin kahit gaano mo pa ka gustong pagsarhan ng pintuan ng isip mo. Minsan ayoko nalang magsalita dahil masyado akong lunod sa iniisip.

"We're invited by the way. The party is on Saturday..."

Hindi ko alam kung bakit bigla nalang nasabi iyon ni Marx sa kalagitnaan ng ibang topic namin. Suddenly, I forgot what we were talking about after he mentioned her debut party. I did not receive any invitation so I can't just come uninvited. Alam ko naman na hindi na ako imbitado sa una pa lang.

Bukod doon, kinakabahan din ako baka may mangyari na namang masama.

Today is Wednesday. Ilang araw na lang kaarawan niya na. I sighed heavily and licked my lips while deeply thinking about it. Paulit ulit. Mabuti na lang at hindi naka video call ito. I don't want Marx to see my reaction or whatever that will lead him to conclude something about me and this feelings.

Saturday. It won't leave my mind. I have work. Alam kong hindi ako makakapunta at hindi rin naman ako pupunta. She pushed me away. Her family doesn't like me for her. We're over. We hadn't even started anything yet we're over. It was just... a mutual connection with feelings that I know will soon fade away.

Right. Napatingala ako sa kalangitan at dinamdam ang malamig na haplos ng hangin sa aking balat. The night is still young...

"Waiting for someone?"

Napatingin ako sa nagsalita. I startled a bit and realized my feet brought me back. I realized I'm here again. My heart's beating so fast and loud against my chest.

I'm here again.

The ground I was stepping on is the same as hers. Only that, she's nowhere in my sight.

I came back.

Today is Saturday.

"Nope," tipid na sabi ko sa babae.

Inayos ko ang pagkakapwesto ng aking cap para masigurado na walang makakakilala sa akin. Wala ni sino man ang nakakaalam na bumalik ako.

My family should not know about this as well as my manager and team. I know I have a lot of catching ups to do for my come back and for sure they wouldn't let me fly back if I tell them about this. Tumakas lang ako. I hate to say it but I kinda sneak out for this day.