Not In That Way - Lauren Jauregui/You *in editing*

chapter 24.

I decided to text Kyle and Dash about what had happened and that they shouldn't worry too much at the moment and I also informed them that I will update them later if anything changes.

I walked outside the hospital and clicked on Lauren's contact in my phone.

"Y/N?" Lauren asked when she answered as if she was confused that I was calling her.
"Hi, I don't know how to say this but there was an accident and Eva got hurt. Quite badly, she's at Sydney General. Just get here as soon as you can." I hung up, I thought it would be best I let the doctors explain what was wrong.

--

I made my way to a bathroom and washed my face, thinking the cold water would rid me of some of my guilt.

"Stupid bitch. You could've got her killed. You probably ruined her life. Her future will be ruined she probably had so many dreams that she may never get to fulfil. You stupid, stupid bitch." I spoke to my reflection. My breathing was heavy and my palms were sweating. I felt so guilty. It felt like I was the one who was driving the car.

--

A while passed and I once again found myself just aimlessly sitting around in the waiting room at the hospital. I called my parents to alert of the situation and to tell them that Lily was safe and in school, they were worried about Eva but I told them I didn't know much at the moment and I would fill them in if anything changed or if there were any developments.

"Y/N." I heard the familiar voice say.
"Lauren..are you okay?" I asked. Stupid question Y/N; her girlfriend may never walk again and I'm asking her if she is okay.
"Am I okay? Of course I'm not fucking okay Y/N. My girlfriend, the girl I love nearly died." That hurt. She loves Eva. She is in love with her. I feel like such a fool, this morning I was asking my father for advice of how to win her back but this whole time the fact that she was in love with somebody else slipped my mind. But for some reason I just felt like she was lying to me about being in love with Eva.
"Lauren, I'm sorry. I feel really guilty, Lily wanted to get across the street to Dani and I couldn't hold onto her. She ran out and a car was coming. I just stood there frozen, I saw a figure run out and push Lily out of the way. The person got hit; all I saw was dark hair and I..I.thought that it..I thought it was you. I thought that you had been hurt, I wouldn't have been able to live with myself if I knew that you git hurt because I couldn't hold onto my three year old sister for a few more seconds." I told, tears were streaming down my cheeks. Lauren just stood there, she looked tense, she looked hurt but mostly she just looked angry.
"But you are just fine knowing that Eva got hurt." She returned harshly.
"Don't you dare accuse of me of being glad that Eva got hurt. I wish it was me in that bed not her, do you even understand how bad I feel knowing that I caused this? I hate myself because Eva got hit because of my failure and now she may never walk again." I bit back at the girl in front of me.
"What do you mean she may never walk again?" Lauren asked desperate for answers.
"I'll let the doctors explain." I spoke calmly.
"No. You can, you caused this. Now tell me what the hell you mean." She said, her eyes turned a dark shade of green so I knew she was angry and close to flying off the handle.
"She has damage to her vertebral column which means she can't control movement from the waist down. It may be temporary but there's a chance it may be permanent. If it is permanent she may be infertile. She's lucky though. If she got hit any higher up the vertebral column it could've been a lot worse." I explained in as calm of a tone as possible.
"Lucky? She may never walk again but yet she's lucky?" Lauren spoke, her voice full of rage.
"At least she still alive!" I returned raising my voice slightly.
"You. You caused, you could've ruined her life forever. You are such a fuck up Y/N, but then you always have been a failure anyway." She said in a low voice.
"BITCH!" I yelled and something took over me and I suddenly felt my palm connect with her cheek. I hate this feeling in the pit of my stomach, I couldn't describe it, it almost felt like a sudden hatred. She was putting all the blame on me and acting as if I didn't care that her girlfriend, who is also my best friend, almost died.
"You have no right to say anything about me, you Lauren Jauregui are a selfish bitch. I'm surprised you're actually here because when we were together you never seemed to be around when I needed you. Although I do think I need to applaud you because this must be what, your second relationship in which you haven't cheated." I said before clapping my hands in her direction.
"I don't know what you're talking about." She said trying to play the innocent card.
"You cheated on Paul, you cheated on Luis and you cheated on Brad. Not a great record is it Lauren?" I asked the rhetorical question.
"Are you scared of commitment? That must be it, you are petrified of the thought that someone might love you enough to want to spend the rest of their live with you. So what do you do? You push them away, you don't tell them how you feel; people aren't mind readers Lauren for any kind of relationship to work you need to communicate." I reminded her harshly. I knew this probably wasn't the best time but I had a lot to get of my chest.
"What about you? You must be scared of commitment as well, because every time we got close to complete happiness you would always somehow work your way back to little Camila who is so in love with you. Did you ever actually love her or were you just desperate for a quick fuck? Maybe she would make you feel good for a night but she was never what you actually wanted was she? You don't even need to answer that because we both know you always came running back to me. You are scared of commitment as well. You are scared of falling in so in love that it terrifies you when someone even hints at a future together. You and me aren't as different as you think, maybe we are perfect for each other; we could've been but then of course you ruined it by having sex with Camila. What even is Camila to you? Have you ever actually liked her or do you just use the feelings she has for you to get her into bed with you, do you see her as a little bit of fun, someone who you can run to for a night together then run back to your girlfriend pretending like nothing happened until the guilt eats you alive. She got closer and closer to me through her speech. I hated how she kept bringing up the Camila situation even though
I knew I deserved it.
"I did have feelings for Camila, I never used her. I wouldn't do that to somebody." I told, looking her directly in the eye.