Book Exchange Romance | A Kim Namjoon FanFic

Chapter 26 - Ana

TW: Miscarriage Talk

Two weeks ago...

The ride back from the hospital Ana was quiet. Neither Eun-Ae nor her dared to mutter a word.

"You had a miscarriage." The words of the doctor played on and on in her head, like a loop. She didn't know how to feel. She felt numb, devoid of emotion. She tried to make sense of what had happened.

"You want to talk about it?" Eun-Ae asked her, interrupting her thoughts. She was looking out the window, the first rays of sunlight coming up.

"I didn't even know I was pregnant." She mustered to say.

"Most women don't." She said. "Before Eun-Ji, I had one too." She said. Ana looked at her. "No one knows. I never told anyone. Not even Eun-Ji's dad." She said. "No matter what, remember is not your fault." She said, looking at her after stopping at a red light. "It isn't." She said, taking Ana's hands that were folded on her lap. The rest of the drive was quiet. They got back to her apartment, and she saw the bed still covered in blood along with the rug beside the bed. There was a small trail of blood droplets that led to the bathroom. She started to walk to the bed but Eun-Ae stopped her. "I'll do it." She said. She walked Ana to her desk and sat her at the chair, kissing her head in a maternal way. Eun-Ae went to the kitchen, got the kitchen gloves and two trash bags. "You have to tell him." She said as she was putting the duvet on one of the trash bags. "He needs to know." She said.

Ana hadn't thought of that. She hadn't thought about Namjoon. The thought of telling him had not crossed her mind at all. Suddenly, everything came crashing down and she shed the first tear. She cried quietly. Eun-Ae made sure she left her comfortable and promised to stop by in the afternoon. Ana nodded, not really putting much attention to what she was saying. For the remainder of the day, Ana stayed by the window, hugging the pillow, while silent tears felt down her cheeks.

Two weeks later...

Ana woke up to the sun shining through the windows in the room. Namjoon's arm was still wrapped around her. She carefully lifted it and tiptoed to the bathroom to wash her face and teeth. Her eyes were still red and puffy from all the crying from the night before. She walked out to the kitchen. Now in daylight, she could appreciate the house. The house was made out of wood, from floor to ceiling. In the living room, there was a fireplace, where they were last night. The dining room had a deck balcony. She put her jacket on and walked to the deck balcony's door, unlocking it. She walked out and saw that the balcony had a perfect view of the river. The river had a deck with some stairs. The rest of the patio was grass. There was a brick firepit in the middle of the patio with some patio chairs around it. She felt Namjoon's arms around her, resting his head on top of hers. The warmth of his body engulfing her.

"You like it?" He asked in a whisper.

"It's perfect." She said caressing his arm and giving it a little kiss. It was indeed perfect. Still, she couldn't shake the thoughts of the miscarriage and how and when she was going to tell him. She was afraid of his reaction. She decided to put those thoughts to the side. "I can already see us sitting in front of the fire-pit." She said. He hummed in agreement.

"I can't wait. Let's make some breakfast." Namjoon said kissing her head and leaving.

"Wow." Ana said in a whisper, walking back to the cabin. Namjoon was starting to make coffee. Ana was looking at the view.

"A little help." Namjoon said looking at her. Ana turned around and smiled.

"No." Ana said smiling and turned back around. She closed the door. She took her jacket off.