Rock, Paper, Scissors

35: Party, Sleep, Repeat

None of my friends noticed my bad mood. Ava managed to distract me by sharing her shopping spree plans for the next day – there was going to be a huge sale and we couldn't waste the opportunity. Apparently, I was included in her plan and so was a full makeover of my wardrobe, even though she guaranteed me there was nothing wrong with my style. Still, I couldn't help but look down at my soft pink hoodie and jeans, feeling my face cringe.

Maybe I should change styles, maybe I should dress up more like Rebeca. Maybe I would look prettier. Maybe that way Nick would look at me differently. Maybe... No! My mom always told me to be myself and never change for anyone, there are people bound to love me the way I am. If Nick doesn't then it's his loss... But then why am I the one feeling like this?

I felt a soft hand over mine. "Are you okay?" Ava asked. I nodded, not wanting to share with her what I saw, and especially not wanting to share how I felt about it. The chair between us shifted and I glared at Nick as he sat down. When he looked at me, I turned away and clenched my fists. I hated him.

I spent the rest of the lunch break in silence, tuning out the conversations around the table. A warm and familiar voice called my name, bringing me back to reality. It was Justin. I only spoke to him briefly when I hung out with Manson.

He was a year younger than us and followed Manson and his friends like a puppy, fetching them food and drinks when they felt peckish, staying behind to collect and store all of the equipment they'd use when training. Looking back, he really wanted to be accepted by the group even if that meant being used and mistreated by them. He had always been nice to me, either because he wanted to score some points with Manson or because I was the only one who respected him.

I always felt bad for him and told Mason it wasn't fair, but he told me that was how it was in the football team and that he himself had done the same before. Knowing what I know now I'm not sure that's even true. I should've seen it as a sign of what Manson was.

How come all the guys I'm interested in end up being jerks?

"Hi, Justin. What's up?" I asked, trying to sound and look as bright as I could.

"I'm throwing a party Saturday, it's my first party for the team and I was wondering if you'd like to come?" I was momentarily stunned by the invitation. I opened my mouth to reply but was cut by Justin's enthusiasm, "It's going to be a small party, only a couple of guys from the team and a few friends. Very cozy. What do you say?"

"I-, I don't-" I was cut again this time by a voice I couldn't bear to hear.

"You're really inviting her Justin?" Rebeca asked, giving him a pat on his back. "Good for you." She appeared out of nowhere like a demon that had been summoned. She put her arms around Nick's chest as if she was ready to hug him from behind at any moment. Ava raised an eyebrow, and I knew she would not let Nick go without an explanation. "You are of course invited too, Nick."

"Yeah, of course." Justin offered a warm boyish smile to Nick before adding what he must have thought was a good convincing argument, "No one from Mason's inner circle is going to be there. So, what do you say?"

"Yeah, what do you say babe?" Rebeca repeated in a sensual voice, before kissing Nick's cheek. I wanted to punch her face and then punch his face too but twice as hard.

"You know what? That sounds great, count me in!" I said, with a smile on my lips. It was time for me to have fun too, by myself.

"Great! I'll text you the address. Bring a swimming suit!" Justin kissed my cheek and left us, followed by Rebeca who winked at me before skipping away. Bitch.

After that Ava demanded an explanation from Nick who was literally saved by the bell. We all left the table, Noah, and Micah throwing me curious glances but didn't say anything either from lack of words or lack of time. We left in different directions and I tried to walk as fast as I could, knowing that Nick would come through the same path as we had the next class together. I thought it would work until I felt a hand on my shoulder.

"You're not really going to that party, are you Jules?" Nick asked me.

"It's Julie for you and actually I am. I could use some fun time."

"You can't be serious?! That guy only wants one thing." I knew that. Nick was right, since Mason left Justin became quite popular and earned quite the reputation – he was now known to be a player, always chasing after new conquests. He had already broken the heart of half of the cheering squad. Then there were also some girls who knew exactly what to expect and weren't looking for anything more than a hook-up too. He had changed, and the sweet, shy boy I met months ago was gone. This time I knew that, but because I knew, I wouldn't be tricked.

"I can take care of myself Nick, thank you very much." I turned away to join my class but was stopped by him. He pulled me closer, his hand holding my wrist as if it would shatter if he didn't. "Don't go," he pleaded. The nerve, acting as if he cared about my safety, about me when he's all caught up with his ex who broke his heart. Humph, they really deserve each other.

"If you're that worried about me you can always come. You were invited too, by your dear Rebeca. Maybe the party is a great opportunity for you two to reminiscence about the good old times you shared together."

A frown formed on Nick's face, genuine confusion. Of course, he didn't know I saw him kiss her. I let out a breath and left him to go to class before he could add something more.

The next day Ava kept pestering me about the party while we were shopping, telling me how bad of an idea it was. I wanted to tell her about Nick and Rebeca and tell her that it was what had pushed me to accept the invitation in the first place, but what's the point in admitting my feelings now. It's too late, Nick was going back to Rebeca and I had to accept that. And if Justin could help me take my mind off of it great, if not, well... at least I tried.

We ended up buying so many clothes that I could barely carry all of my shopping bags. Ava made sure to tell me which outfit I should wear to the party and when the day came, I followed her instructions.

I got to Justin's house late since I had second thoughts right before leaving. It turns out that we don't share the same definition of 'a small party'. The music was blasting from the inside and I could barely pass the front door without being crushed between sweaty bodies. I managed to find the kitchen where the drinks were stored. Compared to the rest of the house the room seemed empty. I readjusted my bikini top under my shirt before pouring myself a cup of the first alcoholic drink I found. I chugged the drink and crunched my face as it burnt my throat. The kitchen door was wide, and I could see the living room. There I found a familiar face who, by coincidence, turned and saw me.

Justin waved at me with a lopsided grin on his face before turning to speak to a brunette. He pointed in my direction and the girl turned – it was Rebeca. She smiled and followed Justin as he walked towards me. Only when they started moving, I realized Nick was with them. Our eyes met and I quickly drank another cup of the burning drink before they got to me.

So much for fun.