Rock, Paper, Scissors

9: Is this real life?

At the end of the day, I told Noah everything that happened as we walked to the car. To be honest, I only needed a few minutes to do it, but I kept repeating myself mostly to convince myself that it was real. By the time we reached our street and said our goodbyes I was pretty sure Noah was tired and bored from listening to the same thing over and over again; even though he made fun of me every time he had the opportunity.

Later, after dinner, I got a text from Mason and we kept texting each other until we were both exhausted. He asked me for a picture before going to sleep and I had to take a lot of selfies before getting one in which I looked good.

Mason (1:13 am): Thnx for the pic ;)

Mason (1:14 am): I hope it'll help me dream about u tonight.

Me (1:17): I hope it'll be a good dream and not a nightmare lol

Mason (1:17 am): 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Mason (1:19 am): I'm sure it'll be perfect...

I knew my night would probably be anything but perfect. I was still waiting on my medication, but I was willing to believe it wouldn't matter as much as before. For some reason, I expected that my newfound bubble of happiness would help me have a peaceful night of sleep. It didn't.

The next day I found yet another note on my locker.

'I enjoyed our lunch yesterday; I was hoping I could join you again today?"

This was it! It was Manson after all. And knowing it made me feel like I had known him forever. All of those little notes showed me, little by little, who he was, who he truly was. He might have looked like your average jock, but he was far more than that. He was eloquent, sweet, happy, caring, and smart.

"Why didn't you tell me before?" I asked him at lunch.

"I was ashamed, I guess, embarrassed. I just didn't really know how to start talking to you without sounding like a weirdo. I guess anonymous notes it's pretty weird though, stalkerish even."

"I don't think they're weird. I loved each one of those notes, they really helped me get through the day. Things had been tough since..." Micah, I thought but didn't say. "It doesn't matter, what matters is that they made my days," I admitted.

He pulled me in a deep hug. I could smell the mint and woody scent of his cologne that had a magnetizing effect on me. I wanted to get closer and was more than happy it took Mason longer than expected to let go, only to place a sweet kiss on my head.

Manson joined Noah and me for lunch for the rest of the week, taking me to class afterward and kissing my forehead before leaving to his own class. I do know him quite well and I even met some of his friends, which I found a lot nicer than I would expect from popular handsome guys. Noah liked him too, but I think it was mostly because Manson once invited Laura to join us at a coffee shop after school.

Manson and I got a lot closer and having his arm around me or receiving hugs and kisses from him became something natural. The entire week had been perfect and the icing on the cake was getting my pills. Goodnights of sleep were finally coming back.

***

I'd been hanging with Mason for a couple of weeks, but it felt like we had a lifetime together. Was this what they called soulmates?

"You look tired," Mason said, softly rubbing his thumb on the back of my hand. Last night I fell asleep while talking on the phone to Manson, without taking my pills. The result was the usual night terror.

"I've been having a hard time falling asleep."

"Why? What's wrong?"

"Just stress, I guess. You know school stuff," I lied. I wasn't ready to share my craziness with him yet. Mostly, I was afraid of how he would react. He never seemed to be the kind to judge others, but still, he might not be up to deal with my issues and accept the "whole package". He placed a hand on my cheek and offered me a soft smile before pulling me into his arms.

"You can rest for a bit. We still have time before class," he said, pressing his lips on my head. I snuggled against his warm body, sitting in the floor against the wall. I closed my eyes as he gently stroked my hair, humming a soft melody. We stayed there until the bell rang, not saying a word, simply enjoying each other's company.

The peace of his arms was replaced by the buzzing whispers of the students. For some reason getting closer to Manson made people at school realize I existed. Now that we were an item, people I haven't seen before were now talking to me if not about me. It was really uncomfortable actually. 

They probably didn't understand why the golden boy was hanging with me when he could aim "higher". I couldn't shake off the feeling that I didn't deserve Manson's affection. But what made me more uneasy was the sudden interest other guys had in me. I was not used to such attention. I started receiving some suggestive comments or compliments on my looks. Like, what world was this?

I tried to avoid thinking, better yet overthinking it, and go on with my life ignoring them. The only one I couldn't ignore was Nick. He would stare at me in disdain every time we crossed paths or shared a history class.

Today, we didn't have to work on our history project which thankfully restricted my interactions with him and made it easier to ignore the hole his eyes were burning through my head. However, I kept fidgeting, not because of Nick but because of my date with Manson after school – a real one. It took all I had to contain my excitement and anxiety, and I was clearly failing.

I tried to dress up nicely even though what I loved about him was not feeling the need to dress up or change myself. He liked me the way I was, I knew it, I just needed to remind me of it from time to time.

The bell rang signaling the end of the school day. The plan was to go to a local diner for our date. I couldn't hold it anymore, so I quickly cleaned my stuff. As I was picking up my backpack to leave a sudden force banged it against the table. The noise made everyone look in my direction, but they quickly averted their gazes and ran out of the room.

"What's your problem!?" I burst, jerking my backpack from Nick's hand.

"Manson. Get away from him," he ordered.

I had no idea where that came from, but I wasn't having it. "Oh, you're jealous? I usually get these directives from girls, but hey, we all support the gay community here. Well, I have to go now, I have a date, so if you'll excuse me."

His jaw clenched as if he was ready to snap someone's neck. Probably mine. His mouth opened and closed as if he wanted to say something, but the frustration took over him and he let out a desperate sigh.

I took the opportunity to leave the room. I glanced back to see Nick's arm fell, defeated, next to him before I left the room to join my man, determined on not letting this ruin my glee.