BLACKMAILED (ON HOLD)

Get Your Hands Off Me

I don't know, I thought I had recovered after all the treatments but one look at Bela and I turn Toxic!

And tonight, I crossed my limits!

I sexually harrassed my own wife!
I tarnished her dignity with the same hands that are supposed to protect her!

I exploited my own Marriage!

Her tears, her pleadings, her hesitation, her pain was reaching my ears and my senses but I ignored them just the same way, mine were back in olden days!

And by the time I realised what I was doing it was too late!
I had already done the horrible damage!

And then I Left Her!
Not because I did not want to be with her but because I could not stand there and she my helpless teen self in her!

I feel so Toxic in myself!

And now here i am like always, at the Bar, drowning myself in alcohol!

Trying really hard to forget her tearful, helpless face!

A part of me, the Husband part of me wanted to be there for her, ask for her forgiveness, but the dead human part of me wanted to run away from the situation!

If only I had the courage to Face her!

It has always been like this!
The Nakul Mahendra Trehan, who is known for masculine power and dominance in the outer world, has always been the one to run away from facing his own humiliation!

And looking at Bela seemed exactly the same!
She looked exactly like my helpless teen self and I could not face him not in front of Bela!

It is not like that, that I don't want to discuss things with her about my past but I am too scared to be vulnerable and helpless!

I do not want to show my weak side to her!
She would not like that Nakul!

Nobody Ever fucking Did!

But I know if I want her by side, I need to open up to her about my past!

But I am afraid if she will ever look at me with the same respect she looked at me in these past couple of days after knowing my deep secrets.

She will hate me for being a spineless man!

She will despise me for being so helpless!

She will not like the vulnerable me, the scared Nakul, who could protect himself!

She will see the worthless me And may be then she will also run away from me, just like my Mother!

(If you are wondering my dear readers, I am going to elaborate more on Nakul's mother in upcoming chapters, for now know that it was not a pleasant childhood experience for him.)

No!

I can't let Bela leave me!

I can not be not beside her!

I want her to myself, Forever!!!

And screw me, I need to fix things with her!

And I knew I had to reach out to her!

Yes, I have to!

Bela, my wife, I screw up always!
But, I am coming for you!!!!
I promise, I will fix things between us!

I am not going to be a Coward, not anymore!!!

Restless, I drove to the Mansion and reached out to our room and then her magnificent scent took over me, calming ny nerves, there she was!