The Rogue Variable

Chapter fourty

"Jesus Christ, Joannah," Adam said, looking at me in shock. "What did they do for you to come up with this?"

I realized that instead of watching, I was now in the view of younger me. From my height, and Adams, I can deduct this was shortly after I had made the Grievers. My hand shot up, wiping tears I hadn't known had fallen. "I didn't know what they were going to use them for. I swear. I thought it was another test," I sobbed. "Adam, do you think I would've made that knowing both of my brothers were being sent in there? Would I have made them knowing you were being sent!"

His arms wrapped around me, and I welcomed his hug. The scent from his everyday shampoo enveloped me. WICKED at least let us choose shampoo smells.

Watching from first person was worse. I was unable to focus on my surrounding, since the girl was obviously more interested in the boy in front of her. From my peripheral vision, the room surprisingly seemed vibrant, consisting of a couch, bed in the corner, a screen which might be a tv, and a small table with 2 chairs.

"Lanai Janson has already come up with a name for them," Adam said, shaking his head. "You mean the witch?"

"Joannah!" He whispered, and I rolled my eyes, the tears gone. "It's what I call her in my head," I mumbled. He chuckled sarcastically, "I know, I hear you sometimes,"

We smirked at eachother before returning to the grim subject. "What'd she call 'em?" I asked, picturing them in my head. "Grievers,"

My eyes shot into his blue-green ones. "You know what she said when she first saw them? Good grief. Grief. Griever. I don't know who's worst her or her brother," I mumbled, shocked at what I had done.

"That's not all," Adam said, his hands taking mine. "What?" I whispered, my gaze returning to the floor. "They don't only kill. They inject you with something, a poison, and it gives you some memories. So you don't die, they have this thing called the grief serum," he explained.

"Please no more..." I whispered, just a hush of breath. "They're taking away who I am. They're molding me into-into a monster," my eyes bore into his, "just like my creations,"

His hands cupped my face. "No, they're not taking away who you are. Because there is one part of you that will never change. That they'll never know about, and that they'll never break," he said, inching closer.

"What?"

"Us," he said, before meeting his lips to mine.

*****

"Bloody hell Joanie, you've gotta stop this,"

I jolted awake, the gleaming light blinding my vision. Squinting into the harsh glow, a figure hovered above me. "Newt?"

My vision adjusted, and I could make out his features. "Can you bloody please stop sleeping in the buggin forest?" He asked, a bit of impatience interspersed in his voice. "Why?" I innocently questioned. "Everyone waiting. The buggin gatherings' today,"

I leaped to my feet, before almost collapsing using the cane to help. The pain had drastically decreased, but I was still wobbly. "What gathering?" I gasped, in between deep breaths. "About you and Thomas," he said, eyeing me over, "let me carry you,"

He reached forward, but I pushed his hand away. "No," I said, straightening up. "No. I've been nothing but a burden. Time I start standing on my own two feet,"

Before he could argue, I threw the cane aside, and braced myself. My legs stayed planted to the ground, swaying slightly, like the trees surrounding me. Shaky steps started, and in a span of a few seconds, were replaced by courageous strides. I didn't look back at Newt, I just lumbered on. No one knew of my plan, and I'm not sure I entirely did either. The deadheads were an eerie chill, different from the torrent sun above. It's looming trees threatened to engulf me. Before I exited the deadheads, I paused, brushed the dirt off, and strides into the open glade.