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I exhaled as I laid on my back, with my eyes closed on my black yoga mat within my garden, Erykah badu's voice was lightly singing from my speakers while tears ran down either side of my head, creating irritating puddles in my ears.
Don't ask why I was crying, there was nothing particularly triggering that happened, but I knew it was because I felt immensely overwhelmed, and although I didn't want to admit it, I knew that hearing those girls laugh and ridicule me was what ultimately pushed demonstrating my emotions this way, I also dearly missed my brother.
I sighed inwardly, wishing the days would instantly fly by so I could see September, college had never sounded so enticing.
The Blue Lapis that I placed on my forehead kicked in overdrive because I could feel the drastic change in my spirit with every tear that fell.
Such a baby. I was going through several different levels of regret as I pondered over different ways the exchange with Charmaine could've gone, the short conversation had me feeling drained to the highest power, I left her house with a horrible my migraine while I felt my heartbeat triple they lower back the entire drive back to my house.
Fortunely, I got about half an hour of sleep during my little inward cleanse, that had me feeling a little better when I opened my eyes. Unfortunately, I could still feel fresh tears run down.
A rough sound of metal briefly caught my attention, I was too emotionally crushed to actually move a muscle. If someone planned on killing me, I just pray their the type to get straight to the point.
I paused, calmly waiting to see if I'd hear anything else to activate my panic, but nothing followed, convincing myself it was probably the wind, I closed my eyes once again.
Was that what everyone else thought of me? That I was a clout chaser for being friends with Jahseh? Why the hell would I want to clout chase off of an undergeound artist when my brother played for one of the best NFL teams in the country? What good is clout when I already can afford to do everything I want without press all on my ass?
They were collectively projecting their insecurities onto their depiction of me to make themselves feel better, for all I knew Jahseh's incontinent self might have history with all of them and they were envious of a relationship they didn't understand, that involved me, someone they knew absolutely nothing about.
As reasonable as that was, it didn't make me feel any better.
Feeling a presence above me, I open my eyes abruptly, my mind going a million miles an hour, a relieved smile reached my lips at the passive expression on the familiar face that hovered over me, standing a few inches away from my head.
"Hi." I greeted in a breath.
"You alright?" He asked in what I would like to believe was concern, his right eyebrow raised as he looked down at me.
