𝐓𝐎𝐗𝐈𝐂 ✗ 𝐉𝐀𝐇𝐒𝐄𝐇 𝐎𝐍𝐅𝐑𝐎𝐘

𝟎𝟐𝟕

"And you sure you good?" Reward's voice was skeptical over the phone, I put it on speaker and placed it on my bed, trading the jeans I had on for a more comfortable pair of leggings.

"Yes sir, I'm perfectly fine." I lied through my teeth, I was rarely ever dishonest about my feelings when it came to talking to my brother because although the image he wanted me to built to show others was very precise-not in the sense that he aggressively tried to force etiquette onto me, he just knew how he wanted to do it -he always tried his best to nuture me mentally.

This time last year we'd talk on the phone twice a week and text each other everyday, but since he's left, I'd only heard his voice a handful of times and our texts were as dry as ever, the first time the difference in timezone actually made texting eachother back seem so difficult.

It was silent for a moment as I struggled to wear the fabric. "You sure?"

"Yes." I groaned in irritation. I knew my sudden disinterest in talking his ear off about my feelings made him suspicious, but my feelings were the last thing on my mind, and it sucked to not be as absorbed with myself as I was a few months ago.

Maybe it's because he wasn't the only person I indulged with anymore, Reward always made our conversations about me, which is what made me worry about him even more, but now it seemed like I was shoved of the edge and someone took up all the space in my brain.

"Aight then." He coughed. "How've you been sleeping?"

"Really good actually." I lied again, my sleeping routine was a bit off, I was sleeping in a lot more and doing research a lot less, I would sleep early ik the evening and wake up at 12 or 2 the next afternoon, which wasn't bad, but for someone who used wake up about six or eight before that... I had a lot of unanswered questions.

I was also sleeping a lot deeper, I got easily tired from doing shit I couldn't wait to be doing for the rest of my life, and it made me feel paranoid to say the least.

"Youn need me to call-"

"If I needed you to, you know I woulda called you at like 2am crying my eyes out," I laughed, and shook my head at how pampered I actually was. "I'm good." I try to reassure him, turning the speaker off and putting him back on my ear.

"Okay." He sighed. "You sound so self-reliant."

I snorted. "You say that like it's a bad thing."

"It isn't, but you don't have to be self-reliant with your emotions when you have me." He reasoned.

"Well I won't always have you at my disposal, so it's better if I wrap my tongue around what it actually tastes like, for the future." I countered, which was true, I was too consumed with myself and always talking about how I felt, and how things affected me, and if I kept it up, one day I was going to expose the right parts of me to the wrong person and it'll bit me, hard.