23. I have my own free will.

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Johnny pov

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Johnny pov.

Hawk pushed fans away from the band as we walked through the bar to talk to Elias.

somehow, the fans heard we would be here and needed security to hold them back. I felt to guilty about fucking that girl behind Apollos back. I really love him, but everything is so confusing right now. I don't know what to do.

I sat down beside Elias with Lily opposite me and leaned against the chair exhausted.

"well, you look great." Elias sighs sarcastically. "I would confirm the offer for us to headline hellfest in California."

"are you fucking serious?" Lily asks.

"yes. hell yeah."

"where are the other dudes at? and Apollo?" I ask Elias when I didn't see the band anywhere.

"they happen to be a little angry right now. I, uh, I had to cancel the rest of the tour"

"what?" Lily raises her voice annoyed. Apollo is gonna be so mad. "That's Bullshit, Elias."

"really? did-did you two happen to fuck a teenage virgin yesterday?" he asks us both. I sigh and close my eyes for a second. "her father blew his own head off."

"Fuck." I mutter while running my hands through my hair.

"you cannot talk to anyone about last night."

"but why is the Tour cancelled?"

"oh, I wonder why. maybe it's because you both were strung the fuck out."

"now she dosent have a fucking dad because of me."

"you ever think about Ricky? huh? why your doing to yourselves? I'm gonna send you out to Malibu where your gonna do Kundalini Yoga. your gonna meditate, your gonna detox." he says but all I can think about is Apollo. I don't even know if he knows. he was fine when I saw him earlier.

" Fuck that. I don't have a problem getting on stage. and I'm not going to some dumbass hippie retreat. " Lily huffs and storms away leaving just me and Elias. when he realises she's not coming back he turns to me.

"okay, look. I told your mother I'd make this happen." he says softly.

"I'll go. I'll go."

"its not gonna be easy, but you gotta do it, man. also, maybe you should take Apollo. he seemed a bit out of it, you know? has he taken anything?" Elias asks. I think for a moment. Apollo hates when people make him do things he dosent wanna do and hates people getting in his business. I think he will make it through this more than I could.

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