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I sit and stare into the nothingness that the world has to offer me right at this moment
I listen as the lawnmower tangles and cuts through the green grass
The smell of fresh cut grass has always been appealing to my senses
I sit and stare into the nothingness that I feel
All I can hear in my head is, "here we go again"
The chronic feeling of emptiness.. the feeling of I haven't eaten but i for sure know I have
Now, suddenly the nosies of the lawnmower had originally calmed me but now I am so annoyed by its sound
It's a sound of pure distraction. Pure annoyance.
I miss my lover. The feeling of giving love and to be loved is something staggering. The smiles that spreads across my persons face makes my empty heart fill with love. The warmth of our hugs makes me feel calm.
Right now, I am not at peace or feel 100% calm.
I feel nothing.
When I see him, I feel nothing. I feel like he has robbed my happiness and joy. When I see him, I feel the energy be sucked out of me.
I sit and listen. . I listen to The birds chirping, I look how the leaves dances funny because of the wind, and I hear that annoying lawnmower.
The scenery I am in is gorgeous and produces harmony.
But inside I feel like I'm in war with my myself. This is all the time. Maybe I should find ways to deal with it. .
I wish I could enjoy this soothing environment with people who supports me & who are not so damn rough with me all the time.
My sexuality has been such a talk of the town with my family.
Everyone thinks I'm either straight or a lesbian.
Why is that any of my families concern anyway. . .
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Poetry Or Short Stories
PoetryI have written some poetry or little stories that express how I feel. So I'm just using Wattpad as a way of self expression. Hopefully as some of you read this you will know you aren't alone. 🥰 Also, I give credit to those who token the beautiful...
