Fifty-five

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"No, don't move," I mutter. Brandon's hand returns to my lower back, I snuggle closer to him, needing more of our skin to skin contact. The throb between my leg grows, I moan.

Buried inside my warmth, none of us speaks. My room is quiet except for our breathing which seems to grow louder in the darkness. I like having him in my comfort zone. I like the feel of him inside me, no sex, just inside me, making us one. He still owes me a kiss. My cheek presses to his chest, I draw circles around his nipples and he cups my butt.

Chills run down my spine at the sensations spreading through me as he traces the skin between my ass, I lift and lower myself back to his dick immediately and we both moan at the brief, pleasant thrill that racks our body. His chest rises and falls, the rhythm of his heartbeat should have lured me to sleep but I have spent too much time sleeping.

Sleep is far from me now. I don't even want to sleep, I want to enjoy this new level of intimacy we have unlocked until he shares his burden with me. One burden at a time.

"I saw Josh," I say and prop my chin on his chest. "Why do you guys hate each other?"

Since we are surrounded by darkness, I can't see his face and maybe that's a good thing. If his sudden stiffness is a sign to go by, this topic will lead us nowhere but I want to know and I want him to be comfortable talking to me about it. I choose him over Josh.

"I don't hate him."

Time crawls, understanding dawns and I snigger, surprised by my expectations. And his short, confusing reply. I should have known that reply is the most I will get out of him.

"That text," I say, "it was a mistake. It wasn't meant for you." His hand slides to the back of my head, I smile until my cheeks hurt. "Does my friendship with Josh bother you?"

"Yes, Elna. A lot." My heart stills, I had hoped for him to respond in the negative to allow me assuage my conscience. I want both of them in my life. Josh's voice rings in my head, I close my eyes. Brandon is more mature than him, he shouldn't mind, I am not asking for too much. "But I understand, I don't want you to give up your friends or any part of you because of me. I would rather you be happy even if it means being friends with Joshua."

Those words cause an eruption in my belly. He has no idea how much his reassurance means to me, I reach for his cheek, spread my fingers on his face. "Do you miss him?"

His reply takes too long to come. "Yes."

The flatness of his voice tugs at my heart, he misses him. I can make this work, I will fix the relationship with him and his brother though I know he will never admit to needing help on that front. He is certain he deserves the cold shoulders, everything awful. I sigh and tug on his beards. If two of them aren't so stubborn, life will be easier for all of us.

"Do you want to be my friend?"

Laughter bubbles in his throat, his chest vibrates and I welcome the distraction from my nervousness. He hooks a finger under my jaw, I level him a glance like I can see anything in this blinding darkness. "I have never had friends so I don't know how it works."

"That's fine, I'll teach you." Can I? Clary made the moves till I warmed up to her. Shoving the doubts to the darkest corners of my mind, I mutter, "Besides, Sophia is your friend."

"No. She only assists when I need something and I do the same for her."

If I could see his face, I would have given him a pointed look and a slap to accompany it. He wouldn't know what friendship is even if it hits him on his forehead, I squeeze his nipple until he grabs my hand. "That's what friends do. They tell each other secrets too."

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