Sparks Fly || A George Weasley Story

Year 4: Yet Another Bloody Castle

Juni's POV: 

The sky overhead was a dark and inky black, dotted with white, sparkling pinpoints, and I was outside. 
Inside, every light in the house was on and the whole place was buzzing with excitement. It was too much, and I just needed some time to myself. Alone time was hard to come across when you lived in a house as full as mine, especially when your older sister and her husband were over to come on the family holiday everyone was taking tomorrow. 

Something that was particularly relaxing, while seeming slightly morbid to others, was to lay on the ground between my parents' headstones Obviously, it wasn't the same as being able to go to your parents and talk to them face to face the way that other people could do, but it was as close as I could get to that, and it had helped me deal with a lot of things over the years. Amaryllis had actually had to come hunt me down on more than one occasion when I'd fallen asleep out here. 

I wasn't planning on doing that tonight, because I wasn't exactly comfortable on the ground and I'd have one hell of a crink in the neck in the morning. Yet, I planned on staying here as long as possible. There was something warm and welcoming about talking to my parents, even if they couldn't talk back. 

"I just don't understand, and I know you're sick of hearing that from me, but it's the truth. Last year, I was almost sure that he liked me, but now, he's just sort of being a jerk. He made fun of my letters and I still let myself think that he'd written one, but after yesterday, I feel so stupid!" 

My words echoed through the empty clearing and I let myself sit and take in my own words for a few minutes while the grass started to scratch at the back of my neck. Normally, when I ranted and I heard my problem spoken back to me, I could find a way to work through it. But this time, I didn't see a way to handle this. I needed help from someone who could actually talk back to me, but there wasn't a single person that I trusted with this information. 

I couldn't talk to Gardenia because she was far to young to understand what I was going through, and even though Leilani had started to be a little nicer to me, she'd probably just laugh at me. Rosemary was too busy being all romantic with Duncan to help me, and after not really being able to see Sorrell for more than two weeks at a time over the last four or five years, I didn't want to go and bother Amaryllis. Not to mention, I'm not sure that she'd be of much help. Amaryllis never really liked me hanging out with the twins, so I don't know how willing she'd be to come to my aid in this situation. 

"I don't think that he'd lead me on, at least not on purpose, but ever since I got back from holiday, things have been different. Like are we really going to gloss over the fact that he just caressed my cheek and straight up flirted with me before breakfast on my birthday? Or how willing he was to kiss me when we won against Slytherin? Every time I turn around, George is doing something that makes me think that he likes me, but then he turns around and does something dumb." 

There was a list of things as long as I was tall of reasons to think that he really did like me, but the list was almost as long of reasons that went against that logic as well. There was just something in my brain that told me that nothing I did could make him like me and even hearing my pleas echoing back to me in the night didn't make that go away. In fact, hearing my own voice talking bad about George only made me feel worse. It wasn't like it was his fault that he didn't like me. 

Who would actually like me once they got to know me?

"But, I can't only be mad at him, I guess. If I could stop always spouting off nonsense at the slightest bit agitation. Like, girls aren't supposed to be rude or use foul language or threaten people. They aren't supposed to get in fights or play sports as rough as I do. Guys are friends with the girls like me so that their pretty, dainty girlfriends don't get too jealous."