Wistful

Chapter 35 - Nixon's Wife, She's A Real Handful

(Kadynce's POV)

One Week Later

Today is a rare day considering the last couple of months.

I'm out of the house for the first time in weeks, and it's only because Mikki got here this morning and dragged me out. We are out looking for costumes for the Halloween Party tomorrow, I haven't found any costumes that I'm in love with so Mikki is helping me.

Thank God Mitch is here otherwise I wouldn't be.

The kids are with Jess, Lily, and Lily's daughter, Blair, right now because I couldn't bear taking them out with me. Thinking about protecting myself and my unborn babies is bad enough, I don't want to have to worry about them too.

Imogen made it out here too, but she's with her parents and siblings for the day.

"You need to go and visit Pierce." Mikki spoke lightly as we were looking through the costume racks at the Halloween store.

I froze just thinking about going to the hospital and seeing him like that. It sounds heart-wrenching. I haven't seen him in almost two months because I don't leave the house, but I call his nurses and doctor to check in on him.

Zayne and Jess visit him.

My parents.

Rocio and Lucia.

Even Junior and the twins.

I just can't go.

It breaks my heart to know that he's here but he's not. I just sit there and talk to him, but nothing ever happens. It's painful to sit in front of the love of your life and they can't talk or wake up. It makes me feel hopeless and powerless to know that he's suffering, and I can't do anything about it.

I know that I should be by his side every second of every day but it torture.

"Zayne goes every day, I ask about him." I told her.

Mikki sighed. "That's not enough, cousin." She continued, turning to face me. "Back when you guys got into that car accident, Pierce was there every day, at your bedside praying and hoping that you'd wake up."

I didn't want to turn my attention to her because that means I have to be completely involved in the conversation and I don't want to be, but I'm going to have to if I want her to shut up and leave me alone about this.

"I understand that, Mikki." I stopped browsing to look at her, I can't believe that she is choosing to have this conversation here and now. "But he wasn't pregnant with twins and taking care of two kids. Everything that I do, feel, or eat my babies experience too. I can't put my twins or myself through that again. I cried for what seemed like days on end and I couldn't do anything to stop it. It's taking everything in me to push through every single day."

Just talking about how hard it's been, makes me want to hide and cry.

Mikki's face turned to understanding as she sighed again. "I'm just saying."

Well, don't say.

"I've thought about it all..." I turned back to the racks.

"Why don't you take Nikki to see him?" Mikki suggested. "It might make her feel better. She's hoping for her daddy to come back but she hasn't seen him in months."

I shrugged. "I don't know."

I've thought about letting Nikkol go with my parents, Zayne, or Jesse to see him but I don't know what that will do to her mental health especially since she witnessed him get hurt and the shooting. My daughter is very fragile right now and I think that the last thing she may need is to see her dad lying up in a hospital in a coma.