Love is Confusing

Chapter 3

~Hannah POV~

I wake up with a huge headache but im use to it by now. I turn my head and see a glass of water and asprin with a note beside it. I drank the the water and asprine before the note. It read

Hey i swong by your house earlier and saw you past out on the couch with vodka at hand. Whats up with all the drinking your house reeks of booze? Text me when you wake up. <3 love you 

- Smellbig

I smiled at the last part of the note then it faded when i realised she knows that i drink like an alcholic. Am i an alocholic? I dont care. Its around 4 in the afternoon.I was going to text Grace when i decided that shes probably with Chester like AlWAYS which is why i dont talk to her anymore. Might as well just not exist to her. I needed to clean atleast the empty bottles everywhere. I needed to get more booze i only have a bottle of wine left. 

I grabed my phone, keys and wallet. I drove to the liquor store and bought a shit tone of alochol and brought it back to my house. i heard my phone ding i saw there were texts from Mamrie and Grace. I looked at Graces first

Grace -Hey i wanted to talk to you. ;) 

A smle grew on my face  i didnt answer. i read Mamries

Mamrie -Want to come over to my house tonight? And no Grace wont be there.

I love how she just knows me so well. I guess ill go to Mamries.

Hannah -Ok i'll be there. What time should i be there?

i got a message immeditaly after i sent it

Mamrie-how about now?

Hannah -Ok ill be there in 6 mins

I got in my car and drove to Mamrie's. I got a couple of text from Grace but i didnt look at them. I knocked on the door and she opened the door with a big smile. Somethings wrong shes being really cheerful and comforting than usual. After awhile i needed to know what up.

"Mamrie whats wrong your being wierdier than usual?" 

"I ummm..know that Grace came to see you today"

"Oh?"

"Hannah do you want to talk about it?"  

"Theres nothing to tell."

"I mean about the other night."

I went to my own day dream about last night. I guess i was daydreaming really long because next thing i knew Mamrie was shaking me vigourously.

"Yeah." i saw with no emothion staring blankly at her.

"Are you okay?"

"Why wouldnt i be? Its not like Grace was and is my WHOLE WORLD!" I say breaking down and crying into Mamries arms. I need a drink. After I was stable enough to  see without tears filling my eyes as much. I got up found a bottle of Vodka and chugged it down.

"Hannah...WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOUR DOING? you cant drink your problems away!" She grabed the bottle from my hands.

"Why cant i its not like i have really anything to live for anymore might as well shorten my life span. Grace is happy with Chester. The only thing i have now is YouTube. Last night was the best night i have had in a while. Im in love with Grace Helbig but she isnt with me. Shes in love with someone else and its like someones stabbing me to death everytime shes with Chester. EVERY FUCKING TIME I SEE THEM OR HERE SOMEONE TALK ABOUT THEM I DIE ALITTLE INSIDE! IM IN LOVE WITH HER AND THIS IS JUST SO FUCKING MUCH FOR ME TO TAKE IN!" and just like that i start to cry again.

"Im not the one you need to confess your love for Grace to. Tell her."

"Ill think about it. Im not promising anything."

"Ok but just thinking that its better to lose her when having at least a slim chance than nothing at all."

"Ok dude can i crash at yours im not fit to drive right now." 

"yeah sure." I walked to the couch and and fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow Mamrie set down with blankets. I have to tell her but when shes always with Chester. Ugh ill do it next time i talk to her.