DO I LOVE HER? ✔

" Sidharth, ruko please baat to sunlo meri ", she shouted after him thinking he would stop but he was in his own zone where he wanted to be alone away from everyone...at that moment he didn't want to understand anything or listen to anyone.The only memory he could recollect from the scene that he witnessed few minutes ago was the closeness and the comfort level she was sharing and that too not with him but with some other man.

" Shehnaaz, who is he?....or tujhe kya hua?..kyun paaglo ki tarah uske peeche bhaag rahi thi ? ", Ahaan who came running after her,bombarded her with questions with worry clear in his voice for her.

" woh..Sidharth ", she said with helpness clear in her voice.

" Mahira di ka fiance right...par usse kya hua?..kafi gusse mein lag rha tha.."

Mahira..Fiance...were the words that caught her attention and then the realisation hit her hard.

" Mahira..Fiance..", she uttered with great difficulty still lost.

" Shehnaaz, Are you okay? ", Aahan asked her only to get nothing as an answer in return.

" Shehnaaz.. ", this time he said shaking her shoulders lightly.

" Haan?,Mai..woh.."

" Mai pooch rha hoon ,Are you alright?,kya hua Sidharth ne tujhe kuch bola hai kya...agar haan toh tu bas bol...tera best friend kis liye hai...abhi uska muhh todta hoon mai. "

On hearing him,a small smile appeared on her face,

" Apni body dekhi hai ", she said pointing towards his body from up to down with her hand...." aur uski dekhi hai woh agar tumhe dhang se do panch lga de...tumhari kahaani toh khatam...aur mera ek hi dost hai jise mai khona nahi chahti ", she said jokingly.

"...aur waise bhi aisa kuch nahi hua hai toh tum bach gye uske maar se....actually mujhe uss se kuch puchna tha but I guess abhi woh thaka hua hoga aur rest karna chahta hoga shayad isliye jaldbaazi mein meri awaaz nhi suni hogi. " she said with last part almost in faint voice but inside her,her heart was crying....the single words that came out of Aahan's mouth made her realise what she was doing...something so wrong...something so unacceptable...something that would disappoint her parents and ruin her relationship with her sister.

But the very next moment why it seemed to be the most right thing to do as if her heart was betraying her...as if her heart was having a battle against her...her brain and the sane part of her...forcing her to go against her own morals and values.

Never ever she wanted or wished for  anything which was not hers even if she loved it...she was always selfless,the one who cares for others before herself, but in his case she...not she but actually her heart wanted to be a bit selfish.She was dreaming of something which was not hers and she was disappointed with herself thinking herself to be someone who was so weak...who has no control over her feelings but she was unaware of something called destiny.

" Thank god light aa gyi " ,...hearing Aahan she came out of her trance.

"....ja moti abb soja,mai bhi chalta hoon aur fir agar light gyi or tujhe darr lga...toh bas apne Superhero ko yaad karna aur banda haazir "

" Superhero?kaun? ", she questioned looking around as if searching for someone.
"...waise chalo bye kal college jana hai aur maine late nhi hona chahti"

" Acha bachu kaam hote hi chalo bye",he said last part mimicking her...
" abb bulana mai nhi aaunga ".

" Aisa ho hi nahi sakta..right Superhero... ki mai bulaun aur tum na aao so aisi baate nhi karte jo hum follow nhi kar sake ", she said rolling her eyes.

" Tu meri masoomiyat ka hamesha fayda uthaati hai ", he said with puppy eyes as if trying to look innocent and he was actually the one...pure,innocent and fun loving and that's why Shehnaaz find that instant connection with him at the very first meeting only,when he saved her from raging and from last one and half year he had always been there for her as one true friend should be.

" Whatever..",she said again rolling her eyes on her friend's antics.

"..abb chal bye good night mujhe neend aa rahi hai "
She said yawning..it was her way to tell him that she was feeling sleepy.

" Okh,good night sleeping beauty..take care aur sote waqt mere pyaare pyaare sapne dekhna ", saying so he left.
Hearing him she chuckled lightly forgetting all her worries for a time being.

SIDHARTH'S POV:

Entering my room,I slammed the door behind me. I don't know what got into me seeing her with that guy...,where she was really enjoying his company.I was angry...no actually I was burning in rage along with so many other foreign emotions to which I was unknown.

Throwing my phone and watch on the bed ,I sat on its edge..running  my hand through my hair now and then...I screamed out of frustration.

I was frustrated not with her but with myself.... why I always feel so vulnerable whenever I am around her?..why I let my emotions overpower me ?,as if she has some kind of control over me and my senses. In my 30 years of life I have never felt something like this.

And this fucking stupid teenage feelings....which I was going through right now,which I myself didn't wish to accept..that I was jealous...jealous of her being so close to some man other than me.The feeling was so foreign to me,so new...I have never felt something like this not even on seeing Mahira with some other man...not even one percent of what I was feeling right now.First I thought I was protective regarding her but now I was realizing I was also possessive for her, which was
not good for me and my sanity.This girl was making me experience and explore the sides of me with which I was unaware of.

And right now only one question is bugging my mind,creating chaos in my heart and  my soul...

Do I...Do I love her?
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With Love,
Takansha 💕