Owen and Knox

41. Please talk to me

Owen POV

It's been a month since, that happened. Knox jumps at the voice of my dad and Tristan, he cries and hits me in his sleep forcing me to wake him up. I feel so hopeless, this hopeless feeling is eating at me, it won't go away. I can't help Knox. The one person who was supposed to be there for him every day, every minute, wasn't there to protect him because I didn't want to go. I should have gone after him, I should have told him to stay after feeling this guy wrenching feeling that something bad was going to happen.

It's my fault.

Knox is scared of me. He's scared because I was selfish and didn't want to go with him that night. He flinches when I touch him, he jumps when he hears my dad or Tristan's voice. Knox won't go home because he's scared to be alone, he's been glued to my side even if he jumps or gets scared. He gets scared of me, but always calms when he sees my eyes.

My eyes.

The only thing that could truly calm Knox in his fits of rage. Even when we were younger it was always me that would be able to calm him. I don't know what it is with my eyes, but he always sees them and calms down. Most of the time we just lay in bed cuddled up with him looking at my eyes. But if he calms by looking at my eyes, I'll always be there to help. To soothe him of his anger, his tears, any emotion he feels and needs me, I'll always be there.

We laid in bed, Knox just staring at me while I soothingly ran my fingers through his hair. He won't let me touch him unless he's looking at me. And it's understandable, but it hurts. If I ever see Callum again, I may be small and weak, but I will put up a fight just to show how bad he hurt my Knox.

I wanted to call the police, I wanted to have Callum put behind bars but Knox didn't want to. He didn't want to relive that time, he didn't want to talk to anyone about it. Knox refused to see Valerie because he was scared. The only time he leaves my bedroom is for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Even then he clings to me, wanting me to sit on his lap while we ate.

"You feeling ok?" I asked him softly, tracing my finger down his cheek.

"Hmmm." Knox nodded not talking. Another thing he doesn't do, he only hums, or give nods or shakes his head. He hasn't said a word in a month. Not since the night he came to the house. We always have to use my shoulders where he squeezes them for yes and no answers. It's hard on both of us, but I will always be there for him.

"Are you hungry?" I got a shake of his head in reply. "Thirsty?" Once again a shake.

"Wanna take a bath? Or a shower?" I sighed lightly. Is it selfish of me to say I want my old Knox back. Before all this shit, before we went into secondary school and met Gina and Callum. To smile and laugh being the naive kids we were. Am I selfish for wanting that?

Knox shook his head, his eyes never leaving mine. I let out another sigh closing my eyes and running a hand through my hair. I tried to hold back tears, just wanting to see Knox smile, even a little. To have him laugh like he used to.

"Baby please talk to me." I whispered, my voice cracking with tears rolling down my cheeks. "I just want to hear your voice, just once."

"I'm sorry." Knox whispered, his own voice breaking. I opened my eyes, looking to see my boyfriend crying as he sat up.

"You have nothing to be sorry for." I sat on my knees putting my hand on his cheek, using my thumb to wipe away his tears.

"You don't have to say sorry. I just wanted to hear your voice." I told him.

"I'm sorry." Knox sobbed out, tear after tear streaming down his face, soaking his cheeks.

"I'm sorry to. I should have made you stay with me, I should have gone with you." I cried with him. I pulled Knox to my chest, wrapping my arms around him in a tight, comforting hug. His arms went around my back, clutching my T-shirt in his hands like he's been doing for the last month.

"I love you." I whispered to him, kissing his forehead then resting my head on top of his.

"I love you." Knox replied burying his face in my chest. I smiled a little, thanking god that I heard his voice. To hear him tell me he loves me, even still, after all the shit he's been through. He still told me.

"So so much." I murmured to him. Knox tightened his arms around me, making me do the same to him.

After a while, Knox's hands had loosened from my T-shirt. His light snores filled my room making me smile. I know Knox hasn't been getting much sleep at night, so I didn't move from my spot. Even with my legs going numb and my belly rumbling got food.

I didn't dare wake him from the sleep he deeply needed.

A/N: I'm so sorry for not updating. School has been on my back but thankfully now I have some time off and I can update more. Thank you so much for reading.