Owen and Knox

19. I'm gay

Owen POV

After a long day, i slumped down on the sofa next to my dad. My mum was having a girls night with aunt Bella and Hope while Tristan, Oakley, Nikah and Alaric went to spend the night with Abuelo Logan and Abuela Paisley. Leaving me and my dad at home.

"What's wrong Owen? What aren't you telling Knox that's getting him upset?" My dad asked me.

I took a deep breath and looked at the man that has never let me down. "I'm gay." I told him.

"Oh. I guess that's something you don't want to go around blurting out to anyone huh?" He chuckled a little. "I'm glad you told me and i didn't have to find out from someone else or social media."

"Y-yeah. Tristan w-wants t-to throw a c-coming out party." I laughed.

"Is Tristan the only one that knows?" He asked.

"Abuelo Memphis, T-Tristan and Lola." I replied.

"It always comes down to him doesn't it?" 

"W-what do you m-mean?" I frowned a little.

"Everyone goes to the wisest one of the family. Memphis. I went to him about my love for your mum, i'm pretty sure my mum and dad spoke to him about their love for each other, now you've gone to him. He's like the family therapist. Gabbie and Devyn still go to him when they have problems." My dad laughed.

"Yeah. I-I guess it's just how this family works, e-everyone goes to abuelo M-Memphis." I smiled a little.

"So what's got you worried about Knox? I'm sure he'll accept you. You're his best friend at the end of the day." He asked mw turning serious.

"I-I'm not scared. I-I like him." I shrugged. "I guess i am s-scared w-what his r-reaction w-will be. Gina and h-his other friends a-are homophobic s-so i'm scared he will b-be the s-same."

"So you like Knox but because of his girlfriend and friends are homophobic you're scared he won't accept you for being gay?" My dad frowned. I nodded and sighed while we stayed silent.

"I-I'm s-scared h-he will bully me if h-he f-finds out that I l-like him." I teared up trying to hold back the tears. "Y-you know what people a-are like at s-school."

"All i'm gonna say is that if Knox doesn't accept you or gets past the fact you like him then he's not a true friend. I know you're close with him but that's what i've got to say. Owen you being gay and liking someone is ok, it's not illegal to find someone attractive, or to have feelings for them. But seeing you with Knox makes me happy because he's making you laugh and smile. I would hate for you to lose the one person who makes you happy, but you never know with this stuff. Just be careful, alright." My dad kissed the top of my head before leaving the living room.

I want to tell Knox, but the worry in me tells me different. To keep it to myself until i can't anymore, or until he finds out himself from Tristan or someone else. Over the years i guess these feelings have grown and it's only now i'm figuring it out. It's wishful thinking that Knox would like me back in that way, but i'm not sure. Just some of the things he does makes me fall that little deeper, Knox makes me happy, be makes me feel safe and he makes me feel like there is someone other than my family that is there for me.

Someone who doesn't call me a freak, a faggot. Even if it may be true now, but Knox has always made me feel normal. That i'm not a freak, with my height and stutter, Knox makes me feel like i'm just like everyone else. Knox is my rock and if he left i'd crumble. Half of me tells me that Knox would accept me in a heartbeat and get over the fact that i like him, but the other half tells me not to bother because he would tell Gina, she'd tell her friends then i'd be bullied way more than i am.

And this is why i'm scared to even tell my best friend, the one person who has never let me down, who has dropped what he's doing just to come and comfort me no matter who he's with. If Knox found out i'm going to accept whatever happens, if he shouts at me or tells me to leave him alone, i will.

That's all i can do, is accept the fact that Knox may never want to be my friend after he knows that i'm gay and i like him.