Empyrean Iris Story Collection Vol. 3

Kinks?

Open Report G60D-1

Author: Dr. Krill

Transcription: audio report.

Sit down, we need to talk. No not just you but humanity as a whole and everyone who has to deal with these disgusting bastards on a regular basis.

*Sighs*

Why?

Oh don't look so confused, you know what you did.

Stop shaking your head at me, you and your entire species are responsible for my constant brain hemorrhaging. The only thing keeping me alive at this point is the sheer force of rage that I have towards humanity as a species. NO, don't talk I am speaking, you do not get to speak, you have lost your right to explain yourself.

I have about had it, just when I thought I was getting over everything you had done, just when I thought this was all going to be the end of my worries. I have gotten over the fact that humans love playing with fire, and I have gotten over the fact that, despite being non-aquatic, you love to swim, and I have gotten over the fact that you actively eat things that are poisonous. I have even gotten over the fact that, as a whole your species seems to be hell bent on destruction despite your incredible ability to survive almost anything.

THIS all I can forgive.

But now you have taken it too far.

Don't look at me all innocent like that. I know the kind of degeneracy in which your kind involves themselves.

You.... You

Disgust.

Me

...

...

At first when I came to learn about human attraction and mating rituals, I found that it all made sense for the most part if not being a little bit gross. The primary source of your enjoyment seems to be swapping bodily fluids like some species of Krevlings swap shiny rocks, but even that was acceptable seeing as most creatures in the galaxy participate in such..... dubious endeavors. Even the thing that you found attractive made sense.

- Large muscles/ curves. It is good to know that your partner is aesthetically pleasing

- Intelligence: who would want to get together with someone who was dumb

- Money: well security is important, and the way you run your lives money means the difference between security and insecurity.

- Talent: talent proves that you are, in some way, worth passing on your genetics. It makes sense. Why wouldn't you want to be with someone who is good at what they do.

- Even those humans that do not desire to pass on their genetics still need to find someone who is attractive and interesting to them, if not physically than at least mentally.

This are all things that I can understand. They do not have to be forgiven, because at least it makes sense, but of course, of course HUMANS had to take it too far, of course they had to make something as simple as attraction, difficult! Why why must you do this, WHY!

...

Here is a list of things that "Turn humans on" that makes me just want to destroy them all to get rid of their degeneracy from this universe.

- Specific outfits: Ok, I know I know this one seems rather tame. What is wrong with wanting your partner to dress up like a gladiator, or Tarzan, or wear a nice pair of socks. It is a bit weird, but not to the point where anyone might question it, after all certain types of outfits can more easily outline the things that you like about your partner. Perhaps a pair of thigh high socks to accentuate the legs, or the aforementioned gladiator costume to highlight the abs. Either way, it seems rather harmless doesn't it, all in good fun right?