For The Dollars Or The Love

Let Me In

I snuggled into Chris' side, since that night he's been here every night making sure I don't lapse into the nightmares again. I'm pretty comfortable having him next to me to keep the monsters away, no I'm not using his affections towards me for my own gain. I know how he feels about me, and he knows what I feel for him, but right now I'm not sure if I should act on these feelings just yet. I'm not in a rush to put myself in that vulnerable place with another person. Chris pulled me tighter into him, his arm wrapped around my waist.

"Babe." He shook me gently thinking I was asleep.

"I'm not asleep."

"What you wanna do today?" I looked up at him, still resting my hand on his chest. He stared down at me biting his lip. Lawd, boy don't do that! I'm trying to be good, and you just a biting your lip. Breathe Cara breathe, my bad, just something about a man biting his lip. Oooh especially if it's plump, and juicy. And if you've seen Chris' lips, then you know that bottom lip, baybay ooowee.

"Umm whatever you wanna do?" I spoke nervously trying to gain my composer. He sat up, half smiling at me.

"I wanna take my girls shopping."

"Awww that's sweet, Symphy will lo, wait your girls?" He nodded.

"Girls, as in plural, as in more than one?" He chuckled, nodding again.

"Yeah, you and Lil Bit. I wanna treat y'all today." I didn't want him going out of his way for us. He rubbed my lips with his thumb.

"Don't make that face, like it or not you two are apart of my life. And I take care of mines." He took his hand off my waist, and tapped my butt.

"Get that ass up, and go get ready." No lie, it took all I had not smile, and say 'Yes daddy.' But I damn sure got out of bed to get ready. Coming out of the shower I see Chris left me to get dressed. I lotioned myself up with my sweet pea from Bath & Body Works, then I slipped on my bra and panties. I put my pleated yellow shorts, with a black bow around the waist on, and my fitted white short sleeved button down. I laced up my yellow Converse, and went to get Symphony ready. To my surprise she was already dressed, Chris was tying up her shoes for her. I can't lie it was a really cute sight. I guess he took a shower in the hall bathroom, because I smelled Axe as soon I walked past it. I cleared my throat making my presences known. The looked up at me, stopping their actions. Symphony stood up revealing her pastel pink skinny jeans, white shirt with the pink ballerina in the middle of it, pink high top Nike Dunks, and her hair in two pom poms that I put up last night, my little fashionista.

"Are my girls ready?" Chris asked smiling.

"Yeah." We followed him out the door to his car. He took us to the mall, just like a guy he went straight to Footlocker.

"Get whatever you want?" Symphony ran to the wall of kid's shoes, but me on the other hand, I was skeptical.

"Chris." He stopped me putting his finger on my lips again. What's with him touching my lips?

"Nope, say nothing."

"But.."

"But nothing, let daddy take care of his girls ok?"

"Ok." I gave in.

"Good girl." He kissed my forehead. I reluctantly went to the women's section. Nothing really caught my eye, most of the shoes were Jordan's, and I don't like those, I never have. I finally just settled on a decent pair of black shell toed Adidas with pink stripes along the sides. I took them to Chris who was already at the register paying for four boxes of Symphony's shoes as well as two of his own.

"This all you getting, one pair of Adidas?" I nodded.

"The shoes were mainly Jordan's, and I don't like Jordan's." He nodded, and paid for our stuff. Mostly today was Symphony, I didn't really want Chris spending any of his money on me. Right now she was dragging us through her favorite clothing store. Chris was enjoying every minute of it, I snuck off to go get my own things. The first place was Victoria's Secret, you can never have too many bras. I grabbed a few matching panties too. Then I made my way to Forever 21, doesn't hurt to have a few more heels, and cute tops. Now to my three favorite stores, first Journeys, I grab a pair of pink and white checkered Vans, a Wonder Woman hoodie, as well as a pair of Wonder Woman Converse in my size and Symphy's, Hot Topic was next. As you can see I'm really selective with my shit, I'm into a bit of everything. I grabbed an All Time Low T-shirt, a pair of plaid skinny jeans with the suspenders, a Pikachu T-shirt, yeah I said Pickachu, is that problem? I went to the CD's, and skimmed through the ones I wanted. Sure I could just buy the album online, but I like actually buying them from the store when I can. Vinyl's good too, I've got a few of them with the record player to go with em. I passed this really cute black skirt, that was sort of styled like a tutu just longer. Now on to Spencer's, no I'm not getting nothing nasty, just more things that fit my style. The first thing I grabbed was the Wonder Woman beanie, and the kids one for Symphy, there was a sick poster of Bob Marley with a lion's mane framing his face where his dreads should be I had to have it for my room, there were two Little Mermaid shirts one in my size, and one in Symphony's I had to snatch them up. I grabbed a black tutu similar to the one I found in Hot Topic in Symphony's size. Yeah, I'm that mom the one that dresses her kid like her I think it's cute. I grabbed a few pieces of jewelry then went to the register, as soon as I took out my debit card to pay, somebody smacked my hand away. I already knew it was Chris, he gave the cashier his card paying for my stuff. Damnit I thought he wouldn't see me til it was time to go to the food court. I didn't even say anything I just followed him out of the store.

"What you want Lil Bit?"

"Cheeburger!" She yelled happily following him to the register. I love them together, they came back with the food giggling like maniacs. I picked at my fries before taking a bite of my burger.

"You already know you in trouble that's why you quiet, I told you I didn't want you spending nothing today."

"But Chris," I started to protest.

"But nothing I told you when y'all are with me, you don't spend anything." I simply nodded, and went back to my food. This is gonna take some getting used to.

Getting back to my place I put Symphony down for a nap, and started sorting through the stuff I bought. Chris picked up my CD's while I folded the clothes.

"What you know about Fall Out Boy girl?" He asks holding it out.

"Please, I've got most of their albums in my collection." He put it back, and I put all my stuff up along with Symphony's. Chris sat behind me holding my waist. His lips kissed my neck. I pulled away turning to look at him.

"Chris, no."

"What?"

"We shouldn't do that?"

"Why, you know how I feel about you, and I know you feel it too." He was right, I shrugged.

"That may be true but." He cut me off.

"But nothing, Mia don't leave me feeling like this when you not returning them."

"I'm scared." I admitted.

"Of what baby?" He sat next to me on the couch looking dead at me.

"Look how my last relationship turned out." He moved me into his lap holding me in place.

"Mia I'm not him, you don't have to be afraid of me."

"I know you're not him." He cut me off again.

"Then stop running from me. I ain't him ma, I won't hurt you. Just let me in." I couldn't even get my words out because he kissed me, I didn't stop him. I gave in as he gently pushed me back on my bed. No we didn't have sex, I'm nowhere near ready for that. But he's right I can't run from him forever.