Our Little Secret ➳ Camila Cabello

thirty

--

I felt so used, so gross. It was a terrible idea but I couldn't stand the thought of him touching my girlfriend any longer. Should I even contemplate doing it? I sat down on the couch unaware of my surroundings, being lost in my thoughts. I felt someone sit by me. It was Camila, she was peeling a banana and leaning back. "How was your walk?"
I didn't answer her. I couldn't even look at her. This pill added more inducing thoughts with the pill I only took a few hours ago. "Babe?" She whispered. I kept hearing her words echo in my head as I kept thinking about the deal. Camila grabbed my face to look at her, "Did you take another pill?"
"I-I.." I couldn't even think of a sentence because I was worried that my thoughts would be spoken out loud.
"How many did you take? You're acting weird." Camila asked squeezing my face tightly.
I pushed her hand off of my face, "Just one."
"Just one doesn't do this. Two would maybe."
"I took another earlier today. It's just combining with that one. I'm fine." I added before scooting a few inches away.
She looked worried, "What's wrong? There's something going on with you. You were okay earlier." I shook my head and looked straight forward. "Tell me now or I'll get it out of you."
"If you tickle me, Karla, I swear to god you won't be happy." I harshly warned her.
Her face was soft, "Well, I was but now I won't. I just want to know what's wrong, babe." She kept trying to get me to look in her eyes, "Is it Austin? Is it Lilah?"
I shook my head, "I need some air. You want some air?"
"You just came back inside." Camila took another bite of her banana. I just left to the backyard behind the corner I was at earlier and she followed me. "What is wrong with you?"
I had to control my breathing. "You know I love you, right?" Camila nodded eating another piece of her banana. "And I'd do anything to be with you?"
Her face grew worried, "Babe, I don't like the way this sounds. What did you do?"
I shook my head, "Nothing."
"What are you planning to do?" Camila knew when I was up to something. Well, 99.9% of the time she did. There were moments where I got away with things, but not often.
"I just want you to know that I would do anything for you." I could feel my words being mumbled together.
"You're slurring, babe. Are you sure you know what you're talking about?" Camila put her hand on my shoulder.
"I think I need to go home, Camila." I felt myself get lightheaded.
"To Houston?" Her voice cracked a little.
I frowned, "No. Just to Lauren's. I can't be here right now. I need to go and think."
"If that's what you really want, but promise me you'll meet me in the airport the day after tomorrow, okay?" She asked. I could tell she was sad, but I really feel like I need to tell Lauren about this. I need to get her opinion. If I told Ally or Dinah, they'd freak out and tell Camila. I can trust Lauren.

--

The drive with Lauren was completely silent. The bad ass Cuban kept looking in my direction as I stared at the world through the windshield, "You okay, Mija? You look really off."
"That's just my face." I retorted shaking my leg in nervousness.
"Okay." Her sarcasm bursted out. "I know something is up. So, do you wanna talk about it with me? I'll buy you pizza."
I shrugged, "If you can keep it a secret from the rest of the girls, I'll tell you."
Lauren pulled into the complex driveway and parked the car to unbuckle her seat belt and turn towards me. "That serious, huh?" She joked. "So, tell me. What's on your mind?" Lauren grabbed my hand and held on tight, resting our grasp on the console.
I felt myself relax a little once I looked into her stain glass eyes. "I was walking around Mila's neighborhood because I needed to get away from the Camaustin bullshit. I walked back up to her house, and Austin was by the Escalade waiting for me."
Lauren's expression changed drastically, "What did he want, babe?"
I looked down at my hands, then back up to meet her hypnotizing eyes, "At first, he said he wanted to keep the peace for Camila's sake. I said I would, but then he.."
I became silent trying to figure out how to put it gently which caused Lauren to become impatient, "What did he do? I'll kill him."
"It's not what he did. It's what he wants to do."
All she could do was stare, "Tell me what happened."
I sighed feeling my bones ache a little. "He wanted to make a deal about Camila. Something that will cause Camila to be mine and only
mine."
"Y/N, you're scaring me. What did he want?" I could feel Lauren's hand tense a little.
My voice was a little shaky, "He said that if I have sex with him, he'll ensure me that he will stop this whole relationship with Camila. If not, he's going to do what he can to get with her. He knows, Lauren. He knows that I'm in love with her. He even said it. If I say no, he'll tell people about her and I. If I say yes, I have to fuck him and cheat on Mila." I was so close to tearing up. The disgusting idea was making me very emotional.
Lauren was dumbfounded, "You're not really thinking about doing this? Are you?"
I looked down at her hand, "I have no choice. He said that since he knows, he has no problem telling the world about it. He knows this could fuck up your album sales and that's how he's going to get his way. Austin knows that I will do anything for you girls to be successful, and keep it that way. Especially for Mila."
Lauren tilted my chin up with her finger, "You don't have to do this. This is technically rape."
"No it's not. It's consensual."
"Not fully. You're going to be uncomfortable and unhappy. Rape is unwanted and that's what this is. Completely unwanted." Lauren said trying to make me understand.
"Lo, this isn't just for Mila. I'm doing this so it doesn't ruin what you've all worked so hard for. If I don't do it, he will hurt all of you." I could feel myself begin to cry.
Her voice started to tremble, "I don't want you doing this. You need to tell Camila what Austin said. In fact, this involves all of us, we have to tell the rest of the girls."
"YOU PROMISED!" I yelled causing the small space to be filled with my voice.
She shook her head, "No, I didn't. I just asked if it was that serious. And it is. You can't go through with this, and if he's planning on black mailing you, we can't finish this tour. Rape is serious, y/n."
I could feel my heart almost burst out of my chest, "Don't do it, Lauren. Please. I'm begging you. The only choice I have besides this is to break up with Camila." What did I just say?
Lauren stared at me, "You can't do that to her. Especially not because of Austin. This will crush her."
"I would rather that happen than her know I fucked Austin or worse, I let the thing she put her heart and soul in come crashing down." I was now crying.
Lauren pulled me in a hug and whispered in my ear, "At least let me call Ally on FaceTime and we will talk about it with her as long as she promises to listen not say anything. Okay? Please just let us talk to her."

I nodded and we went inside. Lauren carried in my presents for me and I sat at the dining room table waiting for Lauren to return with her laptop. I heard a blood curdling scream from her room. I jolted up and ran to her rescue. She was reading the letter I wrote to her and shaking. My voice was trembling, "Oh my God, what the hell happened?"
Her voice squeaked a little as she replied, "Girl, you're the best. I can't believe you did this." Lauren pulled me in a hug with her arms on my waist and squeezed me gently. She pulled her face away to kiss my forehead, "Thank you for my wonderful present, y/n."
I smiled back at her, "You're welcome, Laur. Just don't scream like that again." We let go of each other and I joked, "Next time moan and I'll come faster." I snorted at my joke, "Ha! Did you get it?"
She shook her head with a bright smile, "You and Camila are just alike. You know that?"
I nodded, "They say the couple that plays together, stays together."
"I'm not sure that's the original quote, but okay kid."

I walked back into the kitchen to take my seat. As soon as I sat down, I saw Lauren bringing her MacBook and a large present sitting on top of it with a bow. She put the present in front of me on the table and then sat her laptop down and opened it to turn it on. I ripped the paper off the rectangular box. There was a small note attached to it.

I'm not good with words, so I'll just say this. You're my bad ass. Stay that way. - Lauren

I pulled the box open to reveal some tissue paper. I peeled it off to see a black leather jacket. I was so happy because there's a story behind this jacket.

One day after a rehearsal, the girls and I went shopping. It's not mine or Lauren's favorite thing to do, but it's not our least favorite either. We tried on clothes but they were all way too girly for our tastes. I mean we like dressing girly, but not rainbows and unicorns like Camila. So, we went to the men's section and Lauren put on this leather jacket. I had never seen someone look more bad ass in my life. It was absolutely stunning, and so was she. Lauren bought the jacket and I kept telling her how much of a bad ass she was. That's when we made a plan that one day we'd buy matching leather jackets and drive our motorcycles across L.A. together. To show the world how metal we were. It was just us joking at the time, but over the years, we made it seem like more of a reality.

I clutched the jacket and gave Lauren the biggest hug, "You shouldn't have, but this is amazing. Thanks, Lolo."
She giggled, "There's still something in there."
I was confused as I dug through the tissue paper to find a small slip of paper that said, 'Voucher for one free tattoo, or piercing of your choice'.
I looked at her with wide eyes, "You didn't!"
She smirked, "I remembered how you said you wanted to pierce your nose or get a tattoo on your bra line. So, we are going as soon as we drop down in L.A.."
I couldn't help but smile. "This is the best present ever. Thank you. Now, I can be a bad ass mother fucker like you."
She pushed my head, "You wish, y/l/n."

Lauren pulled up FaceTime and looked to me with a serious face, "Are you ready?"
I nodded and Lauren clicked Ally's contact. It slowly started to ring. I exhaled getting ready to tell Ally. Hopefully she wouldn't say anything to Mila. At least not right now.