More Than This | THE WATTPAD DRAFT

Chapter 26

His eyes were brimming with sadness and I wanted to take it all away. I hated the hollowness in those deep brown eyes of his. There was no life in them and it killed me that I had contributed to that. I watched how it broke him when I broke up with him. It was the worst thing I had ever done but what was I supposed to do? I couldn't be a step-mother. I couldn't be a part of him and Casey bringing a baby into the world. I knew myself and I knew that would be something I wouldn't be able to handle. My heart was broken too and I had to figure out what I was going to do to pick up the pieces.

"My family is fucked up," he muttered

I pulled myself away from him and reached for an empty glass. I placed it on the counter and took the cold water out of his fridge again. I filled it up and handed it to him. He took it and quickly downed the water.

I leaned against the counter across from him, "No family is perfect,"

"No they aren't and that's the problem,"

"Have you told Alvaro?" I asked

He shook his head, "I came to find you as soon as it happened,"

A small part of me was happy that I was his comfort. Things went wrong and I was the first person he turned to. I always wanted it to be that way.

You broke up with him, Isabella

The sane voice in my head continued to whisper that over and over again to remind me of the reality of the situation. It was easy to forget what was going on when it was just him and I. Outside of this apartment, there were so many reasons to keep us apart but when it was just the two of us, it was easy to forget them all.

"I think you should tell him," I suggested, "You shouldn't have to deal with this by yourself,"

"I'll leave him a message and ask him to come by tomorrow,"

He reached for the cupboard door above the counter and pulled out a bottle of Whiskey.

"Don't you think you've had enough to drink?" I asked softly

He placed the bottle on the counter and turned to face me, "Nothing else helps,"

"You're not going to find the answers at the bottom of the bottle, Giovanni,"

"You'd be surprised what you can find," he pulled two glasses from the cupboard, "You want one?"

Any other day I would have rejected his offer but I couldn't disagree that it certainly took the edge off. I extended my hand and he handed me a glass. I wasn't big on Whiskey but I could do with anything that would make me forget our new reality. I brought it to my lips and the bitterness spread across my tongue.

"How can you drink this?" I muttered, pulling a face at the strong taste

He shrugged and brought his glass to his lips, taking a small sip

"You know this doesn't help right?" I repeated, knowing I was trying to convince myself of this too

"I don't need something that helps right now. I just want to forget everything," he sighed, "Don't you wish you could just forget?"

I brought my glass to my lips again, "Of course I do,"

He flicked his eyes to meet mine and I had never longed for anything more. I wanted to forget everything that had happened between us. I wanted to go back to the day he told me he loved me. Hearing those three words made me happier than I ever realised I could be. I would give anything to go back to that.

He placed his glass on the counter and walked over to me, "I'm sorry for how I spoke to you earlier. I shouldn't have acted like that. You don't deserve that,"

I lifted my eyes to meet his, "It's okay,"

He stepped closer to me, "I hated seeing you with Lorenzo,"

"We're just friends," I murmured

He lifted his hand and ran his thumb across my cheek as his hand cupped my face, "I don't want to see you with anyone else, Isabella,"

My breath caught in my throat. He was standing so close to me that I could smell that cologne of his. I couldn't help but breathe him in. He leaned closer, allowing stray strands of his hair to fall forward. He was inches from me now and my body was burning to have him closer. My eyes met his and I could see his desire mirrored my own but instead of making another move, he dropped his hand.

"I'm sorry," he murmured

I shook my head, "It's okay,"

"It's so difficult to have you so close to me and know that I can't rip your clothes off right now,"

The desire deep within the pit of my stomach was screaming at me to hand myself over to him. Hearing those words drip off his tongue caused the pressure between my legs to increase and I didn't know how I was going to pull myself away from him.

"And I know I shouldn't do this but fuck it," he reached out and cupped my face, bringing his lips to meet mine

I should have pushed him away. We were broken up and we couldn't keep doing this to each other but I was in no position for any rational thinking right now. My body was calling out for him so I kissed him back. His hands found my hair as I flicked my tongue over his. It was exhilarating to be able to do this again. I knew it was wrong - fucking wrong to be exact but I couldn't help it. I couldn't help that my body and heart called out for him. No matter how much I convinced myself I could be without him, that would never be true. His hand left my hair and traveled down to my coat, pushing it back as I allowed it to slip off me onto the floor. My hands found his hair as his lips moved down to my neck. I threw my head back and basked in the way he was making my body feel. The desire shot through my veins melting away any thoughts warning me that this was a bad idea. I couldn't concentrate on anything but the feeling of his lips against my skin. I pushed him against the counter as I brought my lips back to his with a new sense of urgency. I leaned against him and felt him come alive against me. My hands ran down his body and pushed under his shirt. I wanted more of him. I needed more of him.

Before I could take this any further, my phone started to ring breaking me out of the bubble of desire I had found myself in. I pulled away from him, both of us breathing heavily.

"You want to get that?" He asked

I leaned over the counter to my bag and pulled my phone out, Reyna's name flashing across my screen. I stared at it, contemplating whether I should answer or not. In that moment, my voice of reason managed to push its way to the front, screaming at me to stop whatever it was I was going to do with Giovanni. I couldn't answer Reyna right now without having to explain myself to her again so I placed my phone back down and allowed the call to go to voicemail.

"I'm sorry," Giovanni said softly

I turned to face him, "We can't keep doing this to each other, Giovanni,"

"I know,"

The right thing to do would have been to walk away. I should have left and gone back home because I knew that what we were doing was only making things worse. I was allowing myself to continue to give in to the love I had for him. Seeing how overcome with sadness he was, was killing me inside. I couldn't just turn away from him. My heart wouldn't allow it.

"But I don't want to leave right now," I admitted

His eyes lit up, "You don't have to,"

"But you can't kiss me again," I warned, "I want to be here for you but not like that. We're not together anymore,"

"Fine,"

"I'm serious,"

I didn't want to say it. I didn't want him to stop kissing me. It was taking all the self-control I had left to not throw myself at him but I had to stand my ground. We were broken up and we had to start acting that way. Nothing was going to change.

"Fine Izzy, I won't kiss you again. Not until you tell me that's what you want,"

My stomach flipped with butterflies. Of course, I wanted him to kiss me - all day, every day but I couldn't give into that.

"I won't,"

I was trying to convince myself that I could stick to that. I was adamant.