Astraphobia

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Requested by Orchid122

Steve has Astraphobia and he streams during a storm.

Disclaimer: I am not afraid of storms but I am going to try and depict this the best I can. Also I am in a Counseling and Mental Health class so I go over a bunch of mental illnesses and disorders so most of the stuff I write will be based of personal experiences and what I learned.

WARNING: Panic Attack, Flashback, Car Wreck, Death. PTSD

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The rain was hitting his window when he woke up. He needed to stream and he was going to do that anyway. It was just rain, it was not like it was storming. He would be okay. He booted up his stream and he prepared himself for the game. Today would be a fun day, so long as the rain stayed rain and didn't become a storm. He liked playing with his friends so he figured that they would ease his mind. He smiled as he joined the call, he was putting on a facade for his fans. He always felt a little anxious when it rained based on the chance it could become a storm.

Everything was going fine for the first couple of hours. He then realized his wifi was acting up. He figured it had to do with the rain. He was watching his signal to see if he would have to warn everyone about the possibility of him cutting out. "Guys, there is a possibility the rain is going to take my wifi out. Just a heads up."

"Okay Steve!" Janet replied.

He managed through another half hour when he saw a flash and the rumble of thunder sounded. His heart dropped. He prayed it was just his mind playing tricks on him. His heart started to race as the sound of thunder boomed through his room. He couldn't help the small cry from his lips. His chest tightened as the sound of rain grew.

It was not just raining, it was storming. He hated storms. He always had. He instinctively went to cover his ears but his headphones stopped him. His breathing picked up, he felt like he was drowning. Air was not getting into his lungs fast enough. He was dragged back to that time.

It was storming the night he lost his mom. They were driving home after a road trip to visit his grandparents. It was late at night. He couldn't sleep, the sound of the thunder was keeping him awake. His dad was at work, so it was just him and his mom. His mom had the radio on and was singing along. He liked hearing her voice. She had a magical voice. One that could sooth him no matter how he was feeling.

He was never usually allowed to sit in the front seat but he was allowed this time. He was finally tall enough. He was staring at his mom, admiring her. She was the most beautiful person in the world. She was perfect. She looked over at him and she smiled. It was only for a moment but her eyes were off the road and when she looked back they were colliding with a car and they went off the highway.

He had no time to process what happened. It was so fast. One moment they were okay the next they were upside down in a ditch. The thunder boomed in his ears. He felt dizzy, sick, he couldn't focus on anything. His vision was blurred and he looked at his mom who was unresponsive. He figured she was just knocked out. Sirens were heard in the distance as his own vision went black. When he woke up he head learned that his mom had died in the crash. He was lucky he got out with minimum injury.

(A/N: I'm sorry for interrupting the story. Fun Fact, my mom is a nurse. She told me that it is actually pretty common for people to come out completely okay from an accident while others are badly injured. Thought I would clarify that. )

"Steven!?" His name being yelled snapped him back out of the flashback. He realized he couldn't breathe he had tears flowing down his face. He gripped at his shirt on his chest, as if he could remove the heaviness on it. There was no use obviously.

"Steve? Are you okay?" Who was speaking? He had no idea, he couldn't breathe. He was dying. This was not going to stop. He needed it all to just stop. He wanted it to all stop. The flash of the lightning made him jump again. He couldn't catch his breath.

"Steve? Hey buddy, do me a favor. Focus on my voice." He heard the calm voice. He couldn't tell who it was. He gasped for air as he tried to focus. His mind was still racing. He grabbed his wrist and started to dig his nails into it. He didn't even realize he was doing it.

"Listen to my voice. It's okay. Nothing is going to hurt you. Take a deep breath, come on." The voice continued to try and coax him down from the obvious panic attack.

He tried to listen, he couldn't take a deep breath. He tried to, he really did. He wanted to be able to breathe. He felt like he was going to pass out from the lack of air. "Steve, come on you got this. Deep breath in." The voice coached.

He didn't realize it but the voice was getting clearer to him. Who was it? He did his best to take in a deep breath. It was shaky but he tried. He did his best to hold his breath before letting it out. "Very good, keep it up baby. You got this." That was all he needed to know who it was speaking to him.

The only person who ever just called him baby first was Apollo. His best friend. He did it again, found himself calming down. He allowed his eyes to close as he tried to ignore the on going storm outside. He only wanted to hear his friend's voice. He didn't want to hear anything else. "Steve, do me a favor. Turn off your stream."

He did what he was asked. He didn't question anything. His breathing was back to normal. His body was still shaking but he could breathe. He didn't feel like he was suffocating anymore. He finally forced out some words. "I'm...I'm sorry." He stuttered.

"Steve, it is okay. Do not apologize. Here I'm going to call your phone. Answer it okay?" Apollo replied. He didn't receive a response but he knew Steve heard him as he picked up the call within a moment. "Do me a favor and leave the discord call."

Steve left the discord call and he held his phone close to his face. He had put Apollo on speaker in hopes that it would block out the storm. "Steve?"

"Yeah?" He muttered in response.

"Is there something that caused the issue?" Apollo spoke carefully. Trying to avoid sending the other into a panic.

"I hate storms...they scare me." Steve murmured, not wanting to admit it. He always pretended it wasn't an issue. It was, it was a major issue. For the longest time he had Cib there to help him through it. This time Cib was not home, or in the country. Cib was visiting family in Canada.

"That's okay. What can I do to help? Want me to keep you company?" The response was not what Steve was expecting. He appreciated the gesture. Who was he to say no? He found himself nodding but he realized he had to respond with words.

"Yes please..." Steve was simply exhausted from the panic attack. He went to his bed and he curled up under his blankets. He had his phone close to his head and he listened to Apollo. His friend talked to him and even hummed a soft tune to him until he was asleep.

Later that night when Steve woke up he found that he was still in a call with his friend. In fact his friend was reading something out loud. Almost like he was making sure to keep a noise going for him. A smile spread across Steve's face. He had one of the best friends he could ever wish for. He didn't say anything, he instead laid in bed and listened to the soothing voice of Apollo.

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A/N: I got it done. Finally. So I did the panic attack based off what I learned in Counseling and Mental Health and some on my personal experience. Panic Attacks are different for every person. For me my mind races with many thoughts and most of the time I instinctively block them out. It takes a decent distraction to help calm me down. Anyhow, I am currently sick and have been since like Saturday last week. Please feel free to request oneshots. Also don't be afraid to request and down to earth topics, and even ships. I'll pretty much write any ships. Some of them I will purely write as Platonic only, For example Hafu and Steve, Janet and Steve, and Tina and Steve.

Anyway, thank you for the support. Love you all.

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