Devil's Son |✓ (Book one Of the Van Dyk series)

24|Lonely

"I'm sorry for the way he treated you," Amara says. She apologizes every time I cry even though it's my birthday now. It's been a few days and I have not seen Jaxon.

"I know he's my cousin but I wish he wasn't, he's a fucking dick and I wish I wasn't related to him, I don't like people that treat women that way."

"It's okay just made me not trust nice guys, red flags here I come!" I exclaim in a raw way.

"Just go for girls like I have, I'll treat you right," She says.

"I'm sorry but I can't even look at a girl and think sexually toward her," I say. "I was just suggesting something," She says.

"But if you ever wanna experiment, I am here," she says.

She slept over it was just a sleepover. I exit out of the room and I walk to my dad.

I don't wanna go to school today, I can't even think straight over Jaxon and us ending and...

What makes things worse is that I just found out my mother committed suicide.

It's been now exactly two days since she... Died. I miss her even though I don't exactly have good memories with her.

Dad doesn't say anything about her. H hasn't mentioned my mother's death since he told me.

It's a cold afternoon I guess that's the usual you get when it's autumn.

"Dad I don't wanna go to school today," I say. "You are going to fucking school, was I not enough? She was shitty to you," he says.

"Yes you were dad don't put words into my mouth, my mother just died," I say.

"You shitty mother that put you through shit," he says.

"Dad, I don't want to go to school it is stressful," I say. "Do whatever you want," he says and walks away.

"I made you breakfast."

Leaving me standing there... Alone. I do care about her I do still love her she's my mother.

I love dad more obviously but my mum was still my mother. Even though she tried to get her boyfriend to rape me and other things.

Happy birthday to me. I guess. I pick up the small little tray that has all my favorite brekky items.

I walk over to the kitchen bench and place the tray down.

I then start eating the pancakes.

I feel calm. Relaxed. For the first time since. Forever I think. Now I realize how alone I really am when I'm not crowded.

Lonely.

It's a nice word I'll give you that. It matches me well. Even though Amara is in my room I feel alone.

I wouldn't even say I'm invisible I stand out completely. I'm different to everyone.

Sophia is a slut she's always got some stupid ass slut outfit on for school. The teachers forget about dress codes when it comes to her.

I fucking hate her too, literally the day I caught Jaxon was the worst day of my life.

I watched as he touched and grabbed my best friend in front of me and she kissed him back. They are probably having sex right now and enjoying each other.

I start to cry again.

I'm sure she's slept with him through Jaxon and I's relationship, he never loved me.

That's what hurts the most.

Is that it was all fake.

I would not be surprised. At all! If she's been pregnant with his fucking child, he probably punched her in the stomach to kill it too.

Basically, every girl she's friends are fucking bitches, they all lied to me and they all probably, fuck him too.

Why do I actually think about these people when all they do is be absolutely assholes to me.

I don't even have my license wish I did but I'd never be able to drive anyways I can't afford a car and I doubt my dad would actually buy me one now that i'm sixteen.

It always tastes good whenever dad makes food.

I wanna kill myself... I haven't told a soul about it. Ha! Actually, I have no one to tell, not anymore. I keep most things to myself anyway. It's my little secret with whoever my subconscious is... Which is me.

Young love doesn't exactly last... Does it? I mean my happy ending burst the second I saw Jaxon having sex! With another girl, I was going to give him sex before Sophia mentioned he lied.

Maybe one day I will find my soulmate. I don't exactly see him coming just yet anytime soon.

I don't see myself being loved by someone. Once i'm done eating I put the dishes into the sink and quickly clean them then I walk to my bedroom.

I open my door and go straight to my bedside table.

It's paining me I'm hurt in multiple ways.

Now the only good memories I had are just in my head now along with all my horrible bad memories.