Concealed Knight

SAN-JU HACHI

We stared at each other for a few moments; I was tensed and uncomfortable; I should tell him honestly about how I feel; I do not want to give false hopes. "I- I apologize!" I exclaimed, lowering down my head; he did not reply instantly; he just looked in front, "I expected a response, but not this quick," He remarked.

I could not possibly use him to lessen my remorse; I looked at the front, "I apologize, there's s- someone I like, someone else," I confessed, "Does he know? Did you confess your feelings properly?" He inquired.

"No, I haven't, I- I never realized my feeling for him, just now, I knew what I had to do," I looked back on my chances, based on his attitude, he is probably minding his business and is acting like nothing happened, I assume that he is with the Young Lady Red by now, "Based on him, I suppose he hates me now, I've done terrible things to him," I was teary-eyed, what should I possibly do, I ruined my chance in an instant.

"I don't want to sweeten up things between us, still, even if our feeling's not mutual, it could possibly change, if we get to know more about each other," Ren suggested, "If you start to date me, we could do things you like and share interests with one another, so, what do you say?" He stood on his ground,

"Will you go out with me, Kerstein?" He questioned again, "I- I sincerely apologize, I do not understand, I could not just do that, I can not assure you that I will like you back in the process of dating, it would be rude for me to make you wait for an answer," I explained, it would be unfair to both sides, I will look like a player if I date him now.

Raiden slowed his pace and held back to clarify my feelings and give me space; he gave me time to figure out how I would feel. Raiden's feelings, the love for me that he has, I am beyond overjoyed just by his confession, even if I do not feel worthy enough.

Everything was new to me, being with men, cuddling to sleep, and even doing things most lovers do; it is quite an experience; it is both shocking and exciting. Still, all these feelings lead to one root; I am delighted and surprised about us; I will not accept it.

We have done simple things in our short time together, and Raiden was always the first to initiate. Every touch, he was gentle and loving. His love does not choke me; it was home, it feels like I belong to that position alone. Throughout the entire process, I forgot how to arrange my thoughts and feelings to where they belong; I just went on and did those things with Raiden; I forgot the essential part.

Being with Raiden is a blessing enough, I cannot just let him go, just the thought of him with another makes my heart sink, and I feel displeasure; I cannot just succumb to my idealism, I have to be straight up and tell him how I feel, I have to be strong, in order for us to be arranged and organized.

I looked again at the Head Executive, "Mister Eijiri, I apologize, I really can't go out with you, I need to sort out my feelings, and truly go for what I desire." I could see the sadness in his eyes, "Forgive me, Ren." I added.

"If that's the case, then alright," He bitterly smiled, "I appreciate your words of sincerity, I understand," He assured me with a smile.

"Thank you for clearing things out, to avoid us getting into misunderstanding, you helped me understand what I have longed for this entire time." He uttered, "I acknowledge your gratitude, Ren," I responded.

Silence filled the scene; the rustling of trees and the breeze of the air was only heard; I drank my coffee until its last drip. Going back to it, I did not even have breakfast; it is near lunchtime, we were supposed to eat breakfast outside.

"That man, the man you said that you love, it is the Knight, am I right?" Ren stated out of the blue, "Sir Raiden Jin, a Noble from the House of Jin, a Knight now I suppose, the last known living family member of the said house." He detailed out.

"He's my best friend, former, I mean," I looked to him in confusion, "We were always together when we were kids," He chuckled in pain.

"Our Father knew each other, even if we are from the Sector, they treated us, as equals to them, Raiden and I were almost twins, we were inseparable," He added, "I had the idea of us being friends until our last breath but is deemed to be false, once we entered university, I realized how different our world was," He laughed it out.

"We are not even allowed to be with one another, we can't bond like we used to do, as I was all alone, I heard that he had earned himself a circle of friends. I was happy at first, that he was happy now," He narrated, "But the more that I mind, the more irritated I got, I realized how happy he can be without me, I talked to Father about it, still it was no use, we aren't Nobles, we are at the borderline, but we can't cross any further," Ren now had a regretting look.

"Father encouraged me to just act as if we were never friends from the start, we learned at the university how the Hierarchy works, how we were grouped, and how we should act, as we studied further, we realized how different we were," I did not know that they had such background "If I had just realized in my early life, that even if we flip the world upside down, we could never achieve the friendship we wanted," We have the same thoughts; it is funny how we are in this situation. I would have stayed at the inauguration if I had known sooner that this would hurt so much.